


Tearable

by bearcantwrite



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: (no one dies dw), Alternate Canon, Angst, Backstory, Betrayal, Canon Era, Discrimination, Drowning, Fights, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Inner Dialogue, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Muteness, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, albert is a scab AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-06-20 17:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15539577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearcantwrite/pseuds/bearcantwrite
Summary: Mush knows scabs are bad. Mush knows scabs are harmful. Mush knows nobody likes a scab. Mush knows scabs steal, lie, cheat, and do God knows what else. Mush knows scabs aren't welcome around newsies, and newsies aren't welcome around scabs.But damn it, the tiny eye-patched scab who threatened to kick his ass is so cute.





	1. Blink Of An Eye

**Author's Note:**

> wow i'm not dead hello
> 
> a while back i wrote a fic entitled "you sold them my papes, i sold you my heart" and.... well it was shit so i decided to remake it. it's called tearable because papers are tearable.... and so are hearts.... puns.... this time there's no porn in it (i know, it's so devastating) but i really am considering rewriting some of my old fics :> and i adore blush. so enjoy it, children

It all happens so fast. Mush swears he knows where he is going; he has his eyes forward, and his speed walking was at a reasonable pace when heading to his selling area, by Bottle Alley. Everything seems fine, the sun is shining, the headline is up, Mush is jogging as per usual — then _BAM!_ Mush crashes into some poor kid and falls backwards. His satchel falls from around his shoulder, and a dull pain scours through his skull. Groaning, Mush sits up. “Sorry,” he says in the search for his bag with the colored spots clouding his vision. “I didn’t see you. You okay?”

“I’d be fine if you watched your step, dumbass.” A high pitched voice speaks in response.

Mush tilts his head up to meet the newsie only to stop. The newsie is a boy around his age, with black and tousled hair crawling from his cap, some already stuck to his forehead from light sweat brought on by the heat. An eyepatch covers one eye — his left one — while the other shines a bright hazel. He has soft cheeks that puff out just a little in anger. His hands clench into fists as he grabs his own bag and stands up. No wonder Mush didn’t see him, he ponders. The newsie is extremely short in size. Obviously, Mush isn’t one to talk, but there is maybe a three to four inch difference. “Damn, which side of the bed did you wake up on?” asks Mush.

“Fuck off,” the tiny boy hisses.

“C’mon, that’s no way to—” Mush takes a second glance at him and feels the hairs on the back of his neck rise. On the boy’s left hand is a small scar— faded, yet prominent. That isn’t a newsie at all. At least, not any newsie he’s known. “Wait a minute, I know you,” he says. “You’re one of them scabs.” Scabs aren’t a welcomed group amongst newsies, in fact there’s a brawl almost everytime one of the two groups would cross paths with another. There were many… quarrels between newsies and scabs ever since they were crawling. Who stole what from who, so-and-so’s on so-and-so’s turf, he said this, she did that, the list goes on.

“You’re a newsie?” The scab inquires and scoots away almost immediately.

“Yeah. Now what do you want?” Mush’s voice hardens as he backs away.

“I want you to get the fuck out of my way.” The scab huffs. “You got five seconds to get back where you came from, or you’re gonna wish you never said a _word_ to me.” Mush feels genuine frustration rise within his stomach, then almost immediately it disperses. The scab had let out a small squeak by accident while talking, and it makes Mush cover his mouth to stifle his snicker. “What the fuck are you laughing at?” The scab growls. “What? You’re making the wrong choice laughing at Kid Blink, fucker.”

Mush scoffs, “What are you gonna do? You couldn’t even reach me.” The proclaimed Kid Blink jumps up slightly to grab the collar of Mush’s shirt and pulls him close. “Okay, okay!” Mush sounds mildly mortified, but he’s grinning all the while. “I’m sorry.”

“Gimme one good reason I shouldn’t fuck you up right now.”

“My best friend knows Spot Conlon.”

Kid Blink’s guard simmers down just a little, his grip loosening. “... fair play. Now move it, fucker, before I change my mind.” He storms past the newsie, grumbling to himself as he fumbles with his papers, leaving Mush to stare in mild surprise. _Who knew such a tiny kid could be so tough?_ “What are you, a dog?” Kid Blink snaps again when he turnes back to meet Mush’s gaze. “Get lost!”

Mush simply rolls his eyes and turns away, and that was that. Mush had avoided him, and never crossed his way again. However, if life could work like that, Pulitzer would lower paper prices. The next day, Mush is taking off from the circulation gates at the same time, the same pace - except he’s careful to keep his gaze more downwards. Seeing a boy pass from of the corner of his eye, Mush’s first instinct is to turn his head, but an eyepatch catches his eye and he goes stiff. Mush would admit, “Kid Blink” scares him — a lot. The kid has no problem kicking someone’s ass even if they’re six-foot-three, and it’s caused Mush to question his _actual_ strength. It’d have been best for Mush to avoid him, but when he finds out Blink sells a mile or so away from him, he just can’t seem to stop himself from getting closer, until an hour into the day he’s about three feet away.

Until Kid Blink notices.

“You again?” Blink groans. “What do you want now?” Mush averts eye contact. “Hello?”

 _Come on, Meyers, what’s a good excuse… think… think…. bingo._ “I saw you weren’t doing too well on your papers.” Mush quickly recovers. “And neither am I. So, I thought, maybe we could, like, partner up or… something like that?”

“You want me to sell with _you?_ ” Blink finds the statement almost amusing as he turns away. “And I thought you were a dumbass before.”

“Newsies who sell in pairs sell their papes better.”

“One problem, I’m not a newsie. Now get lost — again.”

“Well, you’re a newsie to me, now do you want your papes sold or not?”

Kid Blink freezes at the sudden tone change in Mush’s voice, and he turns to face him. He blinks. “Tough.” He mutters. “You don’t know when to quit. And that’s oddly admirable. If I do this, will you leave me the hell alone?”

Mush shrugs with a grin. “Maybe.”

Kid Blink rolls his eye and lets out a long sigh through his nose. “If you’re making me do this, we’re at least gonna do this my way. Staying here—”

“A lot more people pass by Bottle Alley during the day. Why don’t you follow me, Kid?”

Kid Blink’s lips press together before he finally walks beside the newsie. “Don’t try any of that nice shit. I’m here to sell, and that’s all.”

Mush nods. “Fair enough.”

“Good. ‘cause, if any of our buds saw us, it…. wouldn’t end well. So make it quick, Squish.”

“Mush. My name is Mush. Mush Meyers.”

“Same difference.”

“You’re more of the Squish here.”

“You’ll be lucky to walk tomorrow if you ever fucking call me that again.”

The selling process is awkward, to say the least. The two stand farther away from each other, don’t glance at one another, and simply sell in their own way. Mush keeps trying to think of ways to incorporate them together. “Get our papes, hot off the press!” He would yell, only for Kid Blink to scoot further away. He sighs to himself and tries to think. _Come on. What could get this kid to warm up to you?_ “You know, you were real tough back there.” _What._

Kid Blink stops his yelling for just a second, and slowly turns to look at him for the first time in their selling effort. “What?”

“Y’know. Yesterday. I actually thought you were gonna beat my ass.” _Mush, you’re rambling again; stop now._ “Most guys I know are all bark ‘n no bite. Say all this stuff, but don’t even touch me. You stick to your craft. It’s… original. You’re tough, kid.”

Kid Blink has the most disdained look on his face. He’s confused. He’s about ready to slap Mush so hard he’d be hurting for weeks. “I… uh…” Blink fumbles with his remaining papers and rocks on his heels. “Not many people call me tough. ‘specially no newsie.”

“I’m the first one.”

“Joyful.” The scab rolls his eyes. “But…. thank you.” It takes him a moment to utter the words, but he gives another nervous glance to his feet.

Mush feels the corners of his mouth turn. “It’s not a problem. You’re tougher than me, I’ll tell you that.”

Kid Blink snickers. “Anyone is tougher than you. Dumbass.”

Mush opens his mouth to reply, but he hears a different voice call out. “Kid?” Mush turns his head. _Uh oh._

A boy with his cap pushed backwards runs towards the pair, specifically Kid Blink. His fiery red hair pokes from the back of his hat. Mush can recognize the boy as another scab almost instantly when he sees the scar on his hand. “Kid, what are you doing?” The scab is immediately hostile, similar to a cat arching its back as he steps between Kid Blink and Mush. “Who is this guy?”

“Albert, cool it.” Kid Blink huffs. “He ain’t dangerous.”

The proclaimed “Albert” scans Mush up and down. “He’s a newsie,” he hisses. “You know what newsies can do to young kids like you.”

“I’m only sixteen. I’m not a baby, Al. And he didn’t lay a finger on me all day—”

“You sold with him the whole _day?!!_ ” Albert exclaims.

“Well, yeah—”

“You’re kidding me,” the redhead grumbles. “Kid, I don’t want you going near him again, you hear me?”

“Hey, buddy,” Mush tries to butt in and shakes his head. “I swear on my life, I didn’t hurt the kid, I never wanted to hurt the kid. We just sold our papes together.

“How do I know you’re not some dirty liar, paperboy? I know what you do to guys like us.”

“‘cause he’s way more able to kick my ass.” Mush gives a grin to try and lighten the mood. Not a good move. He approaches closer. “Look, I’m Mush, I’m sure we can—”

_WHAM!_

Albert’s fist goes straight for Mush’s face. The precise landing is unsure, but Mush’s nose hurts like hell the next thing he knows. “Get away, fucker,” growls Albert.

“Albert, cool it!” Kid Blink scolds. “He didn’t do nothing wrong.”

“You know the deal about paperboys, Kid. They’re always trespassin’, beating our guys up, saying we steal everything, being reckless smartasses, not letting us take shelter with them.”

“Albert, he was—”

“I don’t want you going near him again,” Albert grabs Mush by his collar, now speaking to him. “Or, for that matter, any of us. You got that?”

Mush shoves the scab away with a soft, _Gedoffame,_ and nods. “I got it. I got it.”

The spark in Albert’s eyes reignites. “Don’t be pushing me around, Shortstock.”

“Don’t be punching at me, Fire Crotch.”

Another fist to the face, this time aimed at his jaw. Fortunately, Mush dodges; unfortunately, he dodges the wrong way and the fists lands on his eye. Mush shoves the scab off of him and delivers a swift punch. Albert is quick; he grabs Mush’s wrist and pins it behind his back to turn him around. Mush, however, is quicker; the minute he feels Albert’s nails dig into his wrist while pinning it to his back, he raises his arm and reels it back to elbow him in the gut, earning a smack in the face. Mush is able to deliver a quick kick to the shins. It stuns Albert, and Mush grabs him by his shoulder to punch him square in his mouth. Albert curses in pain, but raises his hand to scratch him across the face.

Mush can feel the adrenaline make his hands shake, but he doesn’t let that — or the pain — stop him. It’s his turn to punch Albert, this time right on the bridge of his nose, even landing an uppercut. However, as he’s about to quite possibly throw him down, someone else grabs Mush and holds his wrists from behind. _Is it a bull?_ Mush’s racing mind thinks. _Am I gonna go to the Refuge?_ Mush panics and starts to wriggle away, but the frantic voice of, “Mush! Mush, it’s me, it’s Davey,” brings him back from his adrenaline high. Upon inspecting, Kid Blink has managed to apprehend Albert to the best of his abilities.

“Cool it!” Kid Blink scolds him again. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

The two simply stare at each other, heavy panting. Albert’s lip is busted. The skin around Mush’s left eye is darkly bruised and swollen. Both their noses drip with blood. Mush can feel the sting of the deep scratch on his right cheek, as well as the nail marks on his wrist. “I’m so sorry,” Davey tries to break the silence. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Don’t apologize.” Kid Blink mutters, not making eye contact. “We’ll just be… on our way.”

“Ditto.” Davey starts to lead Mush away. Mush tries to wriggle free again, but Davey’s grip is scarily tight on him. “Mush,” he says once the two scabs are out of earshot. “What the _hell_ were you thinking?” They begin to walk.

Mush’s heart starts to pound. Davey is one to never utter a curse word, so something even as light as that can send chills up someone’s spine. “It wasn’t me.”

“I don’t care who started it,” says Davey. “You don’t get into fights often.”

“H-He just punched me in the face, and…” Mush stammers through his adrenaline. “I pushed him off, and that— that _asshole_ started punching me, and—”

Davey sighs; his grip becomes more gentle. He’s now holding Mush by his arm. “Why don’t we fix you up, then you tell me what _really_ happened, okay? I just gotta get in here real quick and let the guys know what’s going on.”

“Fine.” Mush grumbles when he sees the deli. “You shoulda let me at him, though. Would’ve beaten his ass so bad he wouldn’t be able to—”

“Holy _shit!_ ”

Racetrack’s voice rings through the restaurant as he charges towards Mush at the speed of light once Davey opens the door. “What did you do?” He demands, his eyes wide.

Jack Kelly is close behind. “Mush?” His brows furrow. “Davey, why’s he all beat up?” Other newsies are murmuring and hustling about with worry. Mush can feel his face grow hot from all the attention.

“He got into a fight with some kid,” Davey explains with exasperation. “I— I don’t know, I didn’t really see what happened. Mush didn’t say a lot about it.”

“The kid didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No, Jack — I’m fine. I’m taking him back home. I got a first aid kit. I thought something like this might happen one day.”

“I’m coming with you.” Race chimes in.

“Race,” says Davey. “This isn’t your concern—”

“Mush has been my best friend since he got here. I don’t give two smoking shits if I saw the whole thing or not, I’m going.” Mush withholds a snicker at Race’s amusing anger, to which the blond boy takes his cigar from his mouth and points it at him. “You ain’t off the hook.”

Davey takes a deep breath and nods towards the door, indicating for Race to follow him.


	2. Got A Secret, Can You Keep It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mush discovers something while trying to sleep. Could it change his whole world? Possibly.

The walk to the lodging house is a short distance, but Mush is aching to sit down. Once they finally step inside, Mush sits on the edge of his bed and buries his face into his hands while Davey disappears into the bathrooms.

Race plops down next to Mush on the bed. “So,” he says. “You wanna tell me how you got your ass kicked?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Mush,” says Race. “I’ve known you for two years. You don’t gotta act all tough every day. Who tried messing with you, huh? I don’t care if it was a bull, they’re gonna get hell from me.”

“Just some redheaded fuck.”

Race’s nose crinkles in thought. “Redhead?” He fidgets with his cigar. “He a newsie?” Mush shakes his head, and Race’s tone hardens. “A _scab?!_ ” The silence is enough of an answer. “Oh _hell_ no! That ginger fuck’s gonna hear it from me next time I see him. Hell, I’ll get Spot involved.”

“Race, don’t worry.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Race sneers. “Some dirty scab tried fucking with my best friend. Damn scabs, they never know when to keep their hands to themselves.”

Race glances down to see Mush’s bruised-knuckle hands shaking, and he nonchalantly passes his cigar like it’s in his programming. “Don’t worry ‘bout it,” the blond boy says, more softer. “It happens, you know?”

“I guess.”

“But _it_ doesn’t happen often.” Davey’s voice sounds again. He has a small first aid kit in his hand, along with a damp rag. Davey is diligent and quiet as he sets to work. He first starts massaging the bruises on Mush’s knuckles, which make him jolt. “Easy,” Davey says. “You’ll feel a lot better after this, trust me.” He hands the rag to Race with a soft murmur of something, to which the blond newsie holds the rag under his nose. Everything’s quiet for a while until Davey says, “Mush, why’d you fight him? A scab, no less?”

“I… well, I…” Mush tries to think.

“No stories,” says Davey, tilting Mush’s chin up for the two to make eye contact. “No making stuff up. No bull. What happened?”

Mush bites his - thankfully unbusted - lip and gives a heavy sigh from his chest. “There was this other boy, and—”

“Another scab?” asks Race.

“Mhm. And, I saw he wasn’t selling too good, so, I… y’know…” Davey’s eyebrows are raised in confusion. “Sold with him.”

Davey sighs, his tone is partial disbelief and partial disappointment. “You didn’t…”

“You didn’t.” Race’s eyes go wide, his jaw nearly dropping.

“I-I did.” Mush nods. “But, t-that scab ain’t the one that started shit. The one I sold with, he was nice… sorta. He didn’t wanna kick my ass, so—”

“So you sold with a scab just because he didn’t want to fight you from the start?” Davey’s face falls.

“Yeah.”

“Then why’d you get in a fight?” Davey carefully swipes the rag across the scratch marks, making Mush wince.

“Some other scab came up—” Mush explains. “I-I think it was his brother or something, I don’know. He started saying shit to me like, ‘Don’t come near him again,’ or ‘I know what you do to us, paperboy,’ or something like that.”

“Mush,” Davey talks a little softer, but not in a casual sense. “I don’t want you going near that kid again. Either of them.”

Mush huffs. “It’s not my fault!”

“I know, I know,” Davey responds. “But, I think it’s best for you to avoid them at all if you wanna stay out of trouble. Because next time something like that happens, I might not be the one apprehending you.”

“Next time that happens, get a knife,” Race adds in. “Scabs ain’t got nothing but their own fists.” Davey’s glare shuts him up right away.

“Promise me, Mush,” Davey says while putting a few small bandages over the scratches. “Promise me you won’t go near them again. I don’t want something worse to happen to you.”

Mush pauses. “Okay.” He mumbles.

“Mush…” Davey starts.

“I promise.” Mush says. “It won’t happen again. I’ll stay away.” Mush feels his heart sink. Stay away from Kid Blink? He was just starting to get friendly with the boy, and now he probably doesn’t ever want to look at him again. Granted, avoiding him would be easier now, but Mush can’t help but let regret pump his stomach. _Albert was just trying to protect them. Neither of them knew better, he doesn’t know me; I should’ve just walked away. I mean, I’d get scared if I saw some scab hanging around Race. Albert seemed eager to fight me, yeah, but…_

“Mush,” Race snaps him out of his thoughts. “You dead in there?”

“Hnnh?” Mush blinks and looks around. Race has his arm around his best friend now, leaning against him.

“I said, we care a lot about you,” Davey chimes in. “It’s for the best. And if they give you trouble again, we’ll get Jack to beat ‘em up.”

Mush snickers aloud. “Thanks.”

Race smiles and pulls Mush’s hat off to ruffle his slightly shaggy hair. “That’s what we like to hear, buddy.”

A brief pause. Davey then speaks again. “Mush?”

“Hm?”

“What did the scab look like? The one you worked with today?”

“He’s got black hair. He’s short — shorter than me.”

“Surprising.” Race buts in.

Mush momentarily pulls Race’s hat off to smack him with it. “He’s got an eyepatch, um, his hat’s backwards I think—”

“Did you say eyepatch?” Davey cuts him off.

Mush’s brows furrow. “... yes? Why?”

Suddenly, the door opens. Dozens of teen boys flood into the house, and about half of them go to Mush.

“Mush-boy!” Romeo is the first to catch up to him, frowning. “You okay?”

“I’m alright.” Mush nods.

“Who hurt’cha?” A blond boy with a crutch hobbles in pursuit of Jack.

“Some scab,” Race answers. “A redhead.”

“Hell no!” A voice sounds — Tommy Boy. “That redhead’s gonna have to answer to me.”

“Careful,” Mush says. “I heard they smell fear.” It would have been funny, hadn't it been for Mush’s more monotonous voice.

Davey pats Mush’s head with a sigh. “Guys, sleep now, questions later.”

_It’s that late already?_ Mush looks outside a window. Sure enough, the moon is shining bright like a silver platter in a glittering, dark blue ocean. The newsies are beginning to turn in. Mush is quick to lie down with a soft sigh of relief, hanging his hat up on the post.

“Hey,” Race’s voice comes out in a more lower murmur, as if he doesn’t want anyone else to hear. “Don’t worry about Davey. He’s just real worried ‘bout you. But please, don’t try that stupid shit again.”

“I won’t,” Mush gives a small smile to reassure his friend. “You know I won’t, Tony.”

Race smiles and ruffles his hair. “Get some sleep, bud.” With that, he climbs up the small ladder to his top bunk, leaving Mush to close his eyes.

But he doesn’t sleep. Not yet, at least.

“Rough day, huh?” Jack’s voice sounds. It’s far away enough for Mush to open his eyes and stay dangerously still. Jack has walked up to Davey, with only a single candle softly lighting the room, illuminating only their front halves.

“Tell me about it.” Davey replies.

“Don’t feel too bad.”

“I know.” Davey crosses his arms. “I just don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’m worried about him. What if he tries something like that again? Y’know, pick on a scab?”

“He ain’t gonna do that. If I know Mush, he’s gonna stay far away from ‘em after today. Trust me.”

“I guess. He just didn’t sound too sincere when he promised to stay away. I think it’s the one he sold with.”

“Mush worked with a scab?”

Davey nods. “Then, I guess his brother walked up and started picking a fight with him.”

Jack sighs and mutters something under his breath. “Scabs.”

“I know.” Davey turns away from the boy in blue. “I think he said the kid had an eyepatch.”

Jack is silent for a second. “Well,” he says. “Maybe it—”

“Jack, I don’t wanna be walking home one day and find out Mush was beat up again, or… or God knows what else.” Davey says. “All ‘cause he can’t stay away from that boy. It’s like Mush doesn’t _know_ what scabs have done to us.”

“But, he does.”

“That’s my point.” Davey takes a deep breath, trying to stay level-headed. “I don’t want this to keep happening, Jackie.”

Jack then does something Mush doesn’t expect — he wraps his arms around Davey’s torso from behind. It’s a very calm and close embrace, similar to the way that… lovers would hold each other. “Hey, hey,” he says softer. “This ain’t gonna keep happening. Mush learned his lesson. He doesn’t forget things easy.”

“But he’s tough,” says Davey. “And that’s the thing; he’s just a kid. He thinks he can handle any challenge, but one day he’s gonna end up hurting himself so bad that not all the bandages in the world can help him out.”

“Sugar,” Jack squeezes the taller boy, and Davey begins to relax. “It’s alright. You gotta put more trust in them, y’know? He’s just a kid, yeah, but he’s a smart kid.” Jack’s chin finds a resting place of Davey’s shoulder. I don’t need you worrying yourself sick over everyone everyday.”

Davey keeps his head turned away to stifle a soft chuckle. “Don’t start with me.”

“I see you’s smiling.” Jack gives a giggle and temporarily presses his face into Davey’s neck.

It’s barely visible, but it’s certain Davey’s cheeks flourish a soft red as he nudges Jack away from his neck. “Shh, honeybun, they’re tryna sleep.”

“But like I’m saying,” Jack’s voice is hushed back to a whisper. “You need to just focus on yourself for a little bit… and sometimes your brother.”

“ _And_ you.” Davey smiles, reaching back to touch Jack’s cheek in a tender way. “If I take my eyes off you for a second, you’re falling down the stairs where there are no stairs.”

Mush’s nose crinkles in a confused manner. _Sugar? Honeybun? What is this, a honeymoon? Jack’s never this affectionate, what’s happening?_

“You complaining that you gotta look at me all the time?” Jack grins.

“Frankly, no.” Davey turns to face the boy in blue. Then, something happens that Mush _really_ doesn’t expect — they kiss. It’s only for a brief moment, almost a millisecond. But, their lips meet in such a soft and tender way — only angels could kiss as gentle as them. “Jackie,” Davey laughs and pats the newsie’s cheek. “Someone could see.”

“Everyone’s sleeping, sugar,” Jack keeps his arms around Davey and a smile on his face. “What, I can’t kiss you, now?”

Davey laughs softly. “No, you just never know who could be watching.”

“No one’s looking right now.”

“You don’t got all the time in the world for smooching, anyway.” Davey’s petting Jack’s face, speaking in a teasing manner. “You need to sleep. You got a busy day tomorrow.”

“So do you.” Jack smiles. Mush has never heard Jack talk to anyone the same way he — privately — talks to Davey. “C’mon, Dave,” almost as quick as flipping a switch, Jack starts to whine at Davey and hold his hand. “Just one more?”

Davey opens his mouth, most likely to refuse, but he seems to give in and kiss Jack again. The kiss is short again, but it seems to satisfy Jack as he turns to head up the fire escape where his adopted brother, Crutchie, is already fast asleep. Panicking, Mush closes his eyes and goes limp. The light stays active for just a little longer, long enough to make Mush panic just a little. However, Davey gives a gentle blow, and the light is out. Mush is left to turn onto his back and stare up at the bunk above him. _Jack? Davey? Kissing? Holding each other? Sugar and honeybun? It couldn’t mean…. it means… oh my god._

Mush’s sky blue eyes widen.

_Is that allowed? Can you even do that? Could I do that? I was told you couldn’t. Do the others know? Clearly they don’t if Davey was worried someone would see. Do they know I was watching? Should I ask them about it? Should I ask Race about it? Does he know about this?_ Mush then stops himself. He takes a slow breath, letting it ring throughout his chest, and closes his eyes. _No,_ he decides. _I’ll keep it secret. For all I know, it could be life or death. It’s their life, not mine. It’s no different than Romeo trying to woo over girls all the time… and failing… miserably. Maybe it’s not exactly like Romeo._ Mush lets his eyes close with a final sigh as sleep welcomes him.

_But, I know they share the exact same kind of love. I wonder if I could do that…_


	3. Mush At The Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mush learns more about his new friend, his best friend, and his new friend's people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mushh at the briidggeee  
> mushh at the briidggeee  
> nextdoor to brooklyynnn  
> he doesn't like bridgessss

Mush is nervous when he heads to work today. Race is double checking him everywhere to make sure he’s still not sore as they head out the door to the circulation gate. Mush has to admit, he feels pretty badass walking around with bruises and a bandage on his cheek. It certainly spooks the Delanceys — or at least he likes to think so — when they unlock the gate and see Mush as the first face they see in the morning. “‘sup with you?” Oscar grumbles as he opens the gate.

Mush can feel his heart jump. _Did a Delancey just… talk to me… without the need to fight me?_ Mush manages to stay cool as he meets Oscar’s eye and mutters, “Scab.”

Oscar’s brow furrow. “What? You got a scab?”

“No. I fought one.”

Oscar is silent for a second. “Huh?”

“Yeah. Ginger.”

Oscar doesn’t respond for a second. He merely shoves his hands in his pockets before he buzzes his lips in amusement and rolls his eyes. “Whad’dever.” However, Mush can’t avoid the obvious twinge of nerves in Oscar’s eyes that he quickly pulls back. _I scared a Delancey._ He suppresses the urge to smirk as he walks away, Race snickering and elbowing him by his side.

Mush completely forgets he’s worried until he jogs to his spot. His voice is clear, his smile is bright. Most the day is quick, for the most part. But, when he sees Kid Blink walking to him, he feels his stomach do a flip. Whether it’s from seeing his cute face or the fear that jumps in his heart, Mush is unsure. Most likely both. Mush quickly reaches for more papers to distract himself, but is distraught to find his satchel is empty.

“Hey.” Kid Blink says as he walks up. Mush continues his pretend-search. “I’m right here.” Still nothing. “Yoo-hoo? Look at me, I… I need to talk to you.”

“I ain’t supposed to.” Mush mutters as he gives up. “I ain’t even supposed to look at’cha.”

“Well at least lemme say I’m sorry, jackass.”

Mush’s guard is completely thrown off. It’s probably more unexpected than Blink coming over and finishing the redhead’s job. “You what now?” He tilts his head slightly to meet Blink’s eyes.

“You heard me.” Blink is glancing at the ground, showing an obvious reluctance to do this. He cringes when he sees Mush’s bruises and bandaged cheek. “Yikes,” he says. “He really fucked you up.”

“No shit,” says Mush. “Listen, I know one of your buddies probably made you do this or somethin’—”

“No.” Blink shakes his head and finally takes a deep breath. “They told me the same thing your buddies did. But… I know what Albert did wasn’t really that needed. So, I’m sorry that shit had to happen.”

Now _this_ is a first for Mush. “Do you really mean that?” _Nice job. That’s the first thing that comes outta your mouth?_

Blink nods. “Yeah. I do. I really do. I didn’t wanna make you think I told him to do it or something. Albert’s just too… I mean, he’s, y’know…”

“Fiery?”

Blink lets out an amused snort. “I guess. You’re just the first guy that was nice to me in a while. I didn’t wanna fuck that up. But, that didn’t go to plan.”

“No. It wasn’t your fault,” Mush shakes his head. “It was your brother.”

Blink snorts again. “ _Brother._ Do we look related?”

“I just assumed.”

“Ain’t polite to assume, Mush.”

“Well, how ‘bout that,” Mush smirks. “You remembered my name this time.” Blink rolls his eye until Mush remembers something. “I gotta go. The fellas are gonna be on my ass if I’m late to the deli again.”

“Oh.” Blink’s face falls. “I was… kinda hoping to get to know you more. I mean— that’s kinda creepy, ain’t it?”

Mush tilts his head. “No. You seem less dangerous than Albert. Not really, but at least you won’t kill me.”

“If you’re lucky.” Blink responds. “But you could come see me.”

“What?”

Blink bites his lip in a nervous habit. “I… I.. uh… I was kiddin’. But, if you wanted to know more about scabs and stuff… and what we’re like… you could sneak out tonight.”

“Where do you live?”

“I’m near the border of Brooklyn. We live by the bridge”

“Oohhhh, Brooklyn boy?” Mush teases.

“Shut up.”

There’s a small silence. It’s sort of awkward. “So…” says Mush. “We really doin’ this?”

“You don’t have to.” Blink mutters. “I should head home, too. See you… well, I’ll see you, buddy.”

Mush would have been disappointed for not getting a confirmation, but he suddenly feels a spark of joy that ignites into a gleeful fire as he walks to the deli. _Buddy._ Mush keeps thinking. _Blink called me buddy. I’m a scab’s “buddy.”_ That probably isn’t a good thing. But, oh well. Mush thinks about Blink’s offer while he sits at the deli. Not even Race’s obnoxious jokes can snap him out of his own mind. _Was Blink really kidding? Is it a trap? Is he gonna kill me when I reach the place? Are other scabs gonna kill me? I should probably bring protection. I’ve never snuck out before. Except that one time with Romeo, and Specs almost killed us. We didn’t even make it past the steps, so I don’t think it counts._

Mush looks over a table or two from his own. Jack, Davey, and Les are all sitting together. Mush can swear he sees Jack holding Davey’s hand under the table.

\----------

It’s dark in the night streets of Manhattan. Very dark. Mush should have brought a lantern. Only an oil lantern every couple blocks lights his way to Brooklyn… when Mush had first stepped out of the lodging house without anyone seeing, he feels a sense of thrill, and he takes off without looking back. The adrenaline doesn’t last a whole while, though. The streets are very eerily barren. Almost every building has its lights off. Mush hears nothing but his own breathing. His adrenaline quickly turns to fear as he pats the dagger in his back pocket for the sixth time to make sure it’s there. Although, when Mush looks up to see the night sky, he feels at ease. _No wonder Jack and Crutchie sleep outside every night,_ he smiles to himself. _It’s beautiful._ The stars glitter the night sky like diamonds on a dress, along with the moon to guide their way. Mush can easily spot the brightest star in the sky. It’s so mesmerizing, so large, so hard to miss…

_BONK!_

Mush crashes right into a street lamp pole. He grunts in pain and rubs a bruise on his head that’s throbbing with fresh pain. He takes a look around to see the familiar territory that is between Brooklyn and Manhattan. The Bridge is there, too, which makes Mush back away. However, what adds to his fear is not only the bridge itself, but seeing two newsies by the bridge. He ducks behind a column to hide. Mush then looks down. Big mistake. Over a hundred feet below him is just a couple feet of water. One single movement, and he’s done for. Mush can feel his heart start to race as fast as his mind, and he keeps his head straight ahead to gaze at the stars. _You’re fine,_ he keeps telling himself as he holds his breath. _It’s just a bridge. It’s just a river. It’s just a hundred feet. You only need, what, fifty more feet ‘till you’re dead? Just don’t look down. Don’t move. Don’t breathe._ His eyes flutter shut to keep them from watering.

“You made it, finally.”

Mush’s racing mind is now blank with confusion. _Spot? What’s he doing out this late? Is he talking to me?_

“Hey, wasn’t my fault. Someone can’t give good directions of where they live~.”

Mush knows that teasing coo anywhere. _.... Race?_

“Maybe if you paid attention, you’d know better.” Spot teases right back, and Mush can hear Race giggle.

“I can’t help it, darlin’. I always get lost staring at’cha.”

“Oh, shut it.” Spot has a tone to his voice unlike any other — he sounds very soft and endearing. There’s a short silence that follows, and the two laugh again, though they’re both breathing a little heavier.

“Spottie,” Race says in a faux-whine. “You’re gonna get us in trouble.”

“I can’t help it, doll.” Mush can hear the smirk in Spot’s voice. “I always get way into kissin’ at’cha like this.”

“Save it for later, horndog.” Race snorts.

“You sure you don’t wanna go somewhere else?” Spot offers.

“It’s only the third time we’ve seen each other.”

“But it gets better every time. Anyway, you ready to go?”

“Lead the way.” Their voices and laughter soon fade away. Mush can hardly believe his ears.

_Oh my god. Oh my god. My best friend is kissing Spot Conlon. Oh my god. I mean he said he knew Spot Conlon, but I didn’t think like this. Oh my god. My best friend is kissing Spot Conlon. Next thing I know, Romeo’s trying to kiss on Elmer instead of Katherine._

“Mush?!”

Mush nearly falls off the small platform supporting the column when he hears Kid Blink’s voice. The scab jumps out from a bush across from the bridge, and he lights a match to light a lantern. “What are you _doing_?”

“Um,” Mush stammers. “..... enjoying the view?”

“Mush, you asshole, are you gonna jump?!”

“What the hell? No!”

“Then get _down!_ ”

Mush’s heart is pumping as he barely manages to make it out of the small space alive. He grips to the column and leaps onto the bridge before sprinting off it. “You scared the hell outta me.” Mush says.

“I could say the same.” Blink mutters before waving him over. “C’mon. Over here.”

Mush follows Blink to the bush he’s been hiding behind. _This is mildly shady,_ Mush thinks. _I feel like he’s gonna suck my dick or something._

“What’s so funny?” asks Blink.

Mush realizes he’s smirking. “Nothin’.”

“I’m gonna stop asking at this point. Everything’s funny with you.”

“Life’s too short not to laugh.”

“Okay, grandpa.” Blink sits down and pulls down Mush with him. “So… I didn’t expect you to actually come.”

“Why were you hiding under a bush with a lantern, then?”

“This is my hangout spot.” Blink says. “It ain’t far from my home. I’m always home by midnight, though, so you’re lucky. But, good on you for stickin’ to your craft. You nosy little shit.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” Another small silence. “Anythin’ you wanna talk about?”

“One thing, I guess.” Mush responds. “When Davey was healin’ me up the other day, I told them about what happened… he seemed kinda scared when I mentioned you.” Mush sees Blink tense up. “And when I was tryna sleep, I heard him talkin’ with Jack—”

“You eavesdrop a lot, don’t you?”

“I don’t mean to. Anyway, he told Jack about you and he started getting upset.”

“What’d he say…?”

“He just said you had an eyepatch. And Jack was like, ‘Well maybe it ain’t that kid.’ So, why’s everyone so scared o’you? Davey’s newer, and even he’s scared. Did you kill someone?”

Blink’s eyes go wide. “Why the fuck would I do that?”

“Well, I just—”

“I never killed no one. Ain’t no scabs ever killed a guy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. We’re aggressive, not deranged. I’m sure anything you heard about scabs ain’t true.”

“I could probably say the same for newsies.”

Blink hesitates. “What _do_ you say about us?”

“Well.... they said you guys are dangerous.”

Blink rolls his eye. “Well, duh.”

“You lie. You cheat. You steal from good people. You do everything it takes to get your way. Sometimes you’ll attack other newsies and hurt them for no good reason. You’re too risky to be around, ‘cause no one trusts scabs.”

Blink shrugs. “Sounds ‘bout right. But, they never said why we do it — if we ever do. Yeah, some scabs are real dirty, no-good cheaters, but the rest of us are just tryna make it on our own. We’re tough because we can’t trust anyone that seems too nice to us, because we know they’re gonna wreck us later on. If we ever attacked a newsie or lied, it’s cause we thought they were gonna hurt us. We can barely stick to a paper place, we don’t have time to think about how to ambush you guys.”

Mush can hardly believe what he’s hearing. “Really? Almost every day, I’m told scabs do what they do just ‘cause it’s fun.”

“No way.” Blink says. “There’s just a few of us you guys ran into. And you think that’s what we’re all like. There’s this girl in my scab pack? Nicest girl you’d ever meet. She’d kick your ass, for sure, but she’s always singin’ to the kids to get them to sleep.”

Mush can’t help a smile as he adjusts his position to lay back, Blink joining shortly. “Is that true?”

“Cross my heart. Hope to die. Stick a needle in my… well…” Blink touches his eyepatch.

Mush bursts out in a laugh, but he covers his mouth immediately. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh. I-I know it’s—”

“Mush.” Blink is giggling with him. “It’s okay. I meant for it to be funny. It’s not like my eye is gone.”

“Oh.” Heat rises to Mush’s cheeks with embarrassment churning his stomach. He’s laughing anyway, though.

Blink lifts the eyepatch to reveal his brown, cloudy eye. “See? I like tellin’ people I got in some freak accident and it took out my eye. Gets some great faces— and higher pape sales.”

“Damn.” Mush chuckles. “But… you never really answered my question.”

“What?”

“What’d you do to make the newsies hate you?”

“Oh,” Blink says. “It was my fault.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Some dirtier scabs tricked me into helping them rob a group of really small kids.I don’t know if they’re still around or not. I don’t know what they told you guys, but they probably made it sound like we almost killed them. Well… they kinda hurt the kids, but I didn’t know nothin’ — I was just a kid. I was just told to ask them if I could sell with them. Before that, we were just sorta… neutral, I guess. Now they’d probably gut a scab on sight.”

Mush feels guilt ride heavy on his chest like a stack of papers. “You shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, I know it ain’t.” Blink takes a deep breath. “I just wish I could find them scabs again and show them not to fuck with kids like that.”

“Yeah…” Mush bites his lip nervously. “You sure you don’t feel bad about it?”

Blink nods. “Yeah, I’m sure.” He sits up to stretch. “I don’t remember a lot of it, so not like it haunts me, right?” He snickers. “It’s in the past now. Can’t hold onto things forever, y’know?”

Mush relaxes when he sees Blink’s nonchalant expression as he sits up. “That’s one way to look at it. You’re really deep for a scab.”

Blink snickers. “Don’t butter me up.” He then yawns and rubs his eye. “I should get back. You, too, before — what was it, Davey? — Davey beats your ass.”

“He ain’t like that.” Mush giggles. “Goodnight. Carryin’ the banner.”

Blink pats Mush’s arm as he stands up. “Carryin’ the banner, bud.”

Mush grins. “Well, listen to you. Newsie slang, and all.” He begins to stand up, and sees something fall out of his pocket. He reaches to grab it, but Blink is quicker.

“What’s this?” Blink holds the lantern over the object, and his eyes grow wide. “A dagger?” He looks to Mush with a conflicted mix of emotions in his eye. As if he’s upset, infuriated, and frightened all at once, but is refusing to let it show. “What were you gonna do, stab me?”

“Huh?” Mush’s eyes go wide as he reaches to grab it. “No, no.”

“What, do you just carry this around everywhere?” Blink mutters. “You thought I was gonna hurt you?”

“I-I just thought that you were gonna be with your buddies or somethin’.”

“You know I wouldn’t do that shit.” Blink sighs. “Or, maybe you didn’t. Whatever, it’s okay.”

“Blink, I’m sorry—”

“You swear you weren’t gonna stab me?” Blink meets Mush’s gaze. He has his lips pressed tight, like he’s trying not to choke on a lump in his throat.

“I swear.” Mush grabs the dagger and puts it back in his pocket. “I was just thinkin’ it could be a trap. I wouldn’t even touch someone unless they touched me first.”

“You mean that?”

“I really do.”

Blink thinks about Mush’s answer for a moment. “Okay,” he pats Mush’s arm. “If you insist. Just be safe, a’ight? Don’t be stupid and stab yourself.”

“I won’t. I’m smart.”

“You nearly fell off the Bridge. I wouldn’t classify that as ‘smart’.”

“But I didn’t.”

“Just get outta here.” Blink is smiling, though, as he waves and starts to head out.

Mush starts to turn back, but remembers. “Kid, hold up!” Blink turns around. “You wanna try sellin’ again, tomorrow?”

Blink shrugs. “Don’t see why not. Goodnight.”

“Night, Blink.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> third chapters are a bitch  
> also headcanon mush is afraid of bridges/water? accepted


	4. Old Faces, New Tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mush runs into a familiar scab. So does Race.

Mush doesn’t expect to run into Albert again anytime soon. He’s sure he’s more careful with how he sees Blink, and how he sells with him. But, the next day, he accidentally bumps into a newsie, to which he mutters, “‘scuse me,” and sees the newsie turn around. He tilts his head while he whirls around, and feels fear spike his stomach. It’s not a newsie at all; specifically, Albert is standing in front of him.

“You again?” Albert groans, already backing away.

“I-I ain’t lookin’ for trouble,” Mush says. “Just keep walkin’.”

“What do you want?” Albert growls. His hand is beginning to clench into a fist again.

Mush is about to rebuke, but he stops. _What did Blink say about scabs last night? “We’re tough because we can’t trust anyone that seems too nice to us, because we know they’re gonna wreck us later on. If we ever attacked a newsie or lied, it’s cause we thought they were gonna hurt us.”_ He begins to think again. _Albert’s probably just scared. I don’t wanna hurt him. He probably doesn't wanna hurt me. Well, I don’t know about that. But, I need to let Albert know I ain’t gonna make trouble._

Mush takes a deep breath and tries to make his eyes as gentle as possible. “I didn’t mean to bump into ya. I’m sorry.”

Albert’s eyes go wide as plates. “What?”

“I’m sorry.” Mush shrugs. “I-I don’t wanna hurt’cha, I swear on my life. I just wanna sell my papes.”

Albert is completely unsure of what to say. The fire in his eyes is dying down a little, but it’s starting to sprinkle with fear. “Just stay outta my way,” he stammers. “And stop bumpin’ into people. You klutz.”

“Mush!” The newsie jumps at hearing Race call his name. Race is running towards him faster than a rushing racehorse. He’s friendly enough, almost as if he’s blind to the scab. “Hey Mush! After work, you wanna go—” Race suddenly sees Albert, and his whole demeanor changes as quick as a lightswitch. His back straightens as anger flares in his eyes. “Albert?”

“Race?” Albert nearly jumps back three feet when he sees the blond boy. The two are similar to how Albert and Mush looked a few days prior — like feral cats with arched backs and unsheathed claws, ready to fight over the last bit of prey.

Mush’s brow furrows. “You two know each other?”

“Unfortunately.” Race hisses. “Did he do anythin’ to you, Mush?”

“What? No,” Mush tries to step in. “I’m fine. Albert, he— he just bumped into me, and—”

“Whatever,” Race cuts him off. “Let’s just get outta here before he tries messin’ with you again.”

“Again?” Albert does a double take and glares at the blond. “I wasn’t gonna do shit to the kid. I was just gonna walk away until you got here and started growlin’ at me like a dog.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t be so pissy if you didn’t put your hands on him,” says Race. “He didn’t do nothin’ and you just started punching for no reason.”

“Whatever.” Albert huffs, and gives a quick glance to Mush. “I should’ve thought you’d be associated with Race.” He turns back to the seething blond newsie, who’s beginning to walk away. “This is the usual for you, ain’t it? Snoopin’ around. Not knowing when to keep your nose out of business that ain’t yours.”

Race whirls back around. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m sayin’ if you stopped kissing on Spot Conlon for three seconds and listened to people who’re tryna talk to you, then maybe you wouldn’t get your wires crossed.”

There’s a splash of horror in Race’s blue eyes that makes his hands jerk, but they flee into his pockets before they have anytime to start shaking. “Who said I was kissin’ on Spot Conlon?” Race huffs. “Who said I was kissin’ on anyone?”

“I’m just saying; I ain’t the only one coming home late.”

“Just get lost. Or have you still not learned when to quit?”

Albert only groans and turns away. He sprints off, and Mush is left alone with Race. Race is panting heavily. His breath is ragged. It doesn’t take a genius to see his whole body is shaking. His eyes are in a ridiculously tough battle not to water up. It’s silent, until Mush gently touches Race’s arm. “Tony?” He murmurs. “You good?”

Race nods and merely takes out his cigar to start twirling it in his hand. “Great.” He says flatly.

“Race, c’mon, I— who was that guy? How do you know him?”

“Ain’t your business,” Race answers. “I gotta go. I’ll see you.” He darts away before Mush has a chance to say anything else. But, Mush swears he could hear his best friend sniffle throughout the conversation and while he’s running. Mush wants to go after him, but he instead turns the other way and begins to walk.

 _What just happened?_ Mush is in some form of shock as he walks to his selling spot. _The two of them were fighting like… ex-lovers. Does that mean Race dated Albert at one point and never told me? Maybe it was before I was a newsie. I’ve never seen Albert at The World. Does Blink know? I hope Race is alright. I didn’t wanna leave him alone, but I think I was just gonna make everything worse. I wonder what happened between them._

Conveniently, when Mush reaches his spot, Blink is there and already selling. Blink sees Mush and smiles. “There you are.” He says. “I thought you ditched me.”

Mush chuckles to try and shake off his thoughts. “You’re crazy.”

“You good?” Blink, however, doesn’t seem to buy it. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Mush takes a deep breath. “Could we, like, take a walk after work though?”

“Of course.” Blink nods. “Whassup?”

“Nothin’.”

“You _sure?_ ”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Blink shrugs and lightly swats Mush’s arm. “I’m just making sure. You and your mysteries.”

\----------

The two are soon strolling across Central Park with the sun beginning to set. They’re quiet for most of the walk, until Mush finally pipes up with, “I ran into Albert again today.”

Blink nods. “I thought something was up. You ran into him?”

“Literally.” Mush watches Blink smile. “I-I told him I didn’t want trouble and that I didn’t mean to bump into him. He looked kinda scared when I said that. He just told me to stay outta his way.”

Blink sighs. “That’s just Albert. He’s been so used to clobberin’ newsies that he’s not that used to guys like you.”

“Is… that a bad thing or—”

“Nah. He just doesn’t know you.”

“But still, my buddy Race walked up to ask me something. When he and Albert saw each other, they just got… real mad. Like, wild animal mad.”

Blink snorts. “Really?”

“I’m for real. I thought they was ‘boutta start fighting right in the street… but it was different. I felt like they… knew each other, and Race just never told me. Albert said something like, ‘Stop kissin’ on Spot Conlon once in a while and mind your own business,’ and Race ran off right after Albert did. I-I think he was cryin’.”

“Is that why you were late?” asks Blink.

“Yeah.” Mush sighs. “I just hope he’s alright. He doesn’t really express himself to the fellas as much as he should, so I don’t wanna go home and find out he exploded and burnt the place down.” He gives a soft exhale through his nose as a laugh. “But… I dunno. I just don’t know why they’d be so angry with each other if they wouldn’t know each other.”

“You said his name was Race?”

“Yeah…?” Mush slowly confirms. “Racetrack. Higgins.”

“Ohhh.” Blink slowly diverts his gaze to the ground in an awkward manner.

“What?”

“I dunno if I should be tellin’ you this.” Blink gulps. “But I’m pretty sure they used to ‘like’ each other.”

“You really think so?”

“I ain’t sayin’ it’s bad or nothin’,” Blink quickly adds on. “I’m just sayin’... it was most likely a thing. I don’t remember much.”

“Where did you guys even come from?” asks Mush. “How’d he meet Race?”

“It was when I was younger.” Blink says. “Like, thirteen. We used to work for The World.”

Mush gasps. “You didn’t.”

“Believe me or don’t. Albert found me in an alley when I was five and he took me home. The guys adored me,” he snorts. “Thought I was the cutest lil’ shit ever.”

“You probably were.”

“I’m still cute.” Blink claims. “But, when I was getting older, Albert and Race hung out more. They sat closer together. Albert would take Race’s things a lot, and it’d turn into a fun game. They were pretty slick about it, so I don’t think no one noticed. But after a while, Race started losin’ sleep. And he got kinda sick. He passed out while selling at one point and had to be taken home. We tried gettin’ him to tell us what was going on, but he didn’t say nothing. I guess Albert didn’t know. But one day, I guess Race had enough and they started fighting about the other coming home late. I remember Race caught Albert hanging out with scabs and Albert was lying to him about it. How he found out, I dunno. Then again, sometimes Race would sneak out too. I think he had a buddy in Brooklyn or something?”

 _Spot Conlon,_ Mush assumes.

“I don’t remember what they said,” Blink continues. “But I remember Race was crying a lot, but he wouldn’t even look at me. A few hours later, Albert told me we weren’t gonna be at The World anymore. He still never told me why. We started wandering the streets until some scabs found us and let us stay the night at their place. They didn’t want us walking the streets alone at night.”

“Weren’t you upset?” asks Mush. “Because Albert wasn’t gonna work there anymore?”

“I was kinda sad.” Blink slips his hands into his pockets. “But I didn’t wanna make Albert feel worse. That, and I didn’t really know what was going on.”

“Damn…” Mush feels his heart sink. _Race doesn’t cry over people a lot. He doesn’t cry a lot in general. Did Albert mean that much to him? Even if they weren’t seein’ each other?_

“So, do me a favor?”

“Yeah?”

“Look after your buddy tonight,” says Blink. “Make sure he’s alright. I know Albert gets tense if the fellas ever bring his name up.” He looks towards the direction of The Brooklyn Bridge. “I should get home. Be sure Albert didn’t kill someone.” He gives a soft laugh.

“You gonna be alright?”

“Oh, yeah.” Blink nods. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with me, Mush.” Mush still has a doubtful frown on his face. “C’mon, Mush, it was years ago. I didn’t even know Race that well.”

“I know.”

“I’m good, Mush. Really. You should get home.” He smiles and reaches up to pat his shoulder.

Mush returns the smile. “Alright. And… when we hung out. It was fun. We should do it again.”

“Hell yeah. Carryin’ the banner, Mushy.”

“Carryin’ the banner.” Mush waves to Blink as he’s soon on his way. _Mushy._ He thinks with a grin. _I like that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was a lil short cause i didnt wanna put all the Good Content in this one and have nothing for 5 ! which should be out soon !


	5. Where's Racetrack?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Racetrack ran off somewhere. Mush has a feeling he knows where.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> where in the world is  
> racetrack higginssss

“Aye!”

Mush jumps when he hears a scruffy, angry voice near him while walking home. When he turns around, he sees Tommy Boy facing a scab. _Uh oh._ He gulps. _Tommy Boy is pretty tough. Angry Tommy Boy isn’t a good thing. And that scab is kinda small._

“Watch where you’re goin’, scab!” Tommy Boy huffs.

“I was.” The scab rebukes. “You don’t own the sidewalk, asshole, learn to share it with the rest of us. Now get outta my way.”

“Don’t be tellin’ me what to do.” Tommy Boy gives a growl and takes a step towards the scab.

“Easy, easy,” the scab’s voice starts to shake a little. “I didn’t do nothin’ wrong.”

Tommy Boy is about to reply when Mush quickly runs over. “Hey, Tommy Boy! There you are! I was lookin’ for ya everywhere.” Mush is grinning brightly as he takes Tommy Boy by the wrist. “C’mon, the fellas are wondering where we’re at.” When Tommy Boy isn’t looking, Mush gives a wink to the scab as a signal for him to run. The scab gladly takes it, and he bolts.

“Aye, aye! Get back here!” Tommy Boy is about to take chase when Mush pulls him back.

“Tom, Tom! Easy.” He says. “C’mon, it’s gettin’ too late for fightin’, don’t you think?”

“But he—”

“Whatever happened, I don’t think it was your fault. Or his. Let’s just go home.”

Tommy Boy heaves a sigh and follows Mush back to the lodging house without a second word.

They walk inside, and Mush is on the immediate search for Race. He checks their bunks. Nothing. He checks the bathrooms. Nothing. He even checks the rooftop. Nothing. Mush is starting to worry. _Where is he?_ He hops down the stairs to find the nearest newsie. “Davey.”

“Hm?” The tall, black-haired boy looks over.

“Have you seen Race anywhere?”

“No.” Davey shakes his head.

Mush curses under his breath and gently nudges Davey aside as his steps are quicker around the lodging house. “Hey, wait up,” Davey is quick to follow. “Did he not come home?”

“No, I mean— I dunno.” Mush sighs, his head already beginning to cloud with thoughts. _Did he run off somewhere? Why is no one even batting an eye at this?_ “I mean, we talked this morning, and he seemed upset when he left, so— so I just thought he’d be here somewhere.”

“You talked this morning?” Davey questions. “Why was he upset? What happened?”

“Nothing! Okay?” Mush snaps and pulls off his cap to run his fingers through his hair. He can feel his mind start to fog up. “It’s— it’s nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Mush, Mush.” Davey puts a hand on Mush’s shoulder to bring him down. “What’s happening? You’re really red.”

“What’s happenin’?” Jack tries to walk over.

Davey gently waves Jack away with a soft, “Just a minute.” Jack seems to get it, and he scatters. Davey bends down slightly to look Mush in the eye. “Mush, hey. Don’t freak out, alright? Just stay here with me and tell me what happened.”

Mush keeps trying to swallow a lump in his throat as he talks between attempts to breathe smoother. “I ran into Albert again. So did Race. They got real mad. After Albert left, Race wasn’t— he wasn’t talkin’ to me. He just ran.”

“Did you see him again after?” Mush shakes his head. Davey takes a slow breath to keep himself steady and murmurs a soft, “Okay.” He gently rests four fingers against Mush’s forehead to feel the heat from his face. “If we’re gonna find him, we’ve gotta keep our cool. Race is… well.. he’s rash, but he’s not so rash he’d do something dumb.”

“Who’s got a rash?” A newsie pipes in.

“Not now, Romeo.” Davey glances to them, then back to Mush. “I’m sure Race is probably hiding somewhere in the lodging house. Just in case, Jack and I will send a couple fellas out. If we find him, you’ll be the first one to know, alright?”

Mush nods. “Alright. Alright.” He nervously chews on his lip and takes more slow breaths to try and cease the blood rushing to his face. “S-Sorry, I— I just—”

“No, no.” Davey hushes him and rubs his arms up and down. “Don’t apologize, Mush, you know this. If one of our guys is missing, you know the first thing to do’s tell someone.”

Mush sighs. “I know.”

“Jack!” Davey waves over the boy in blue, to which Jack jogs over. “Round up some quick fellas.”

“Why?” Jack asks.

“Race is missin’.”

“Who’s missing?” A newsie asks. The rather loud question spawns many more newsies to start asking the three of them.

“Alright, alright!” Jack shouts. “Calm down. Race is somewhere ‘round here. I need fellas to go searchin’ around here, but stay in pairs. Once you’re paired up, go. Specs ‘n Elmer, you take Harlem. Mike ‘n Ike, you take Midtown…”

Two by two, newsies are paired with each other and sent out the door to their assigned towns. “Okay,” Jack soon says. “Who wants Brooklyn?” He’s met with doubtful silence. “C’mon, this is serious. I need someone, anyone to—”

“I got Brooklyn.” Mush clears his throat enough to speak up.

Jack nods with relief. “Finch, you head on with him. The rest of you, search around Manhattan and the lodging house.”

The newsies disperse as quick as the Red Sea. Mush sees Finch quickly catch up to him with a nod. “Ready?” asks Finch.

Mush nods. “Let’s go.”

The two rush to the door, but something in Mush makes him look back.

Jack and Davey are now alone in the house. Davey has his arms crossed — a nervous habit — as Jack gently cups the newsie’s face. He murmurs something inaudible, and the two share a comforting kiss.

“Mush,” Finch has rushed back to tap Mush’s shoulder. “C’mon, we ain’t got all day.”

Mush turns back and takes off out the door with Finch by his side, all the way to Brooklyn. Jack was right to choose Finch — and Mush was right to take Brooklyn — as the two are there in a little over than half an hour. The sun has well set by now, though the oranges and yellows are still smeared together in the sky like a palette, and Mush can see the sign that says, **_Welcome To Brooklyn._** The two are resting by the Bridge to catch their breath.

“You sure he’d be here?” Finch asks.

“I’m positive.” Mush confirms. “He brags about Spot Conlon being his best friend, I don’t see why he wouldn’t come here.”

“I guess.” Finch gives a shrug as he plays with his slingshot. “You’re his best friend, though. He’s the first fella you started talkin’ to when you became a newsie.”

“He’s like that with everyone.”

“Still, I’m just sayin’.” He stands up with Mush by his side and looks across the bridge. “Anyway, all we gotta do is cross the bridge and we’ll be there.”

Oh. _Damnit._ Mush completely forgot he hates bridges. “Uhm,” he says. “Ain’t there a way we could— we could go around or something?”

“What?” Finch raises his eyebrows. “Mush, this is the quickest way to Brooklyn. It’d take us an extra hour.”

“But, maybe there’d— y’know, there’s a shortcut?”

“Mush, this _is_ the shortcut. You can’t tell me you’re scared of bridges.” Pause. “Are you?”

“.... maybe a bit.”

“Mush,” Finch takes Mush’s wrist to lead him. “This here’s one of the sturdiest bridges ever. Two people ain’t gonna send it crumbling. If we just stay in the middle of it, you’ll be fine. Keep your head up, a’ight?”

Mush feels his heart start to race when he steps one foot onto the bridge. “Yeah.” Finch nods. “You’ll be halfway across this thing in no time. You could run if it helps. And if you think you’re faster.”

Mush huffs with a nervous laugh. “You’re crazy.” He can’t believe what he’s doing. One foot following the other, on one of the highest bridges in the world.

“C’mon.” Finch smirks. “The quicker you race me, the quicker we’ll be off this thing.”

Mush snickers. “You’re on.”

“Okay.” Finch stands beside Mush. “Ready… go!” He takes off without a second warning, and Mush is chasing him in pursuit. The two laugh and lightly shove at each other as they run across the bridge, and the both of them barely tie as they reach the end of the bridge. “Congratulations, Mush.” He smiles. “You crossed a bridge.”

While catching his breath, Mush looks behind him to see, indeed, Manhattan is merely behind him. “Huh.”

Finch pats Mush’s back. “I knew you could do it. Let’s find Race. You take that road, I’ll go here. Meet me back here as soon as you looked everywhere.”

Mush nods and takes off down a road, running his gaze across multiple buildings. _Deli, bakery, cafe, tavern, bookstore… if I were Race, where would I go?_ His eyes then land on the Brooklyn Newsboy Lodging House.

Mush slowly walks up the stairs and knocks thrice on the door. A short, smaller newsie with black hair opens the door. “Is Race Higgins here?”

“Yeah…?” The newsie’s eyes narrow. “Who’re you?”

“I’m Mush. I’m his buddy. I’m lookin’ for him.” The newsie holds back the urge to laugh. “What?”

“Mom’s home.” They mutter under their breath, and step aside. “He ain’t gonna be real happy. But, yeah he’s here.”

Mush steps inside. “Where is he?” The newsie merely points to a nearby room, and Mush tiptoes quietly. It’s revealed to be the bathrooms, Mush can easily tell, as he puts his ear to the slightly ajar door.

“That’s it,” Spot’s voice is heard, along with the shaky yet deep breaths of Race. “You got it, Tony. It’s okay.”

“If that—” Race clears his throat to clear the choke in his voice. His voice sounds worn down, like he’s been crying for hours — probably all day. Yet, he sounds like he’s growing more calm by the second, with his voice sounding less tight and at least understandable. “If that _asshole_ didn’t walk away, I would have—”

“Shhh. Hush…” Spot soothes him. “It was for the best. If he didn’t walk away, something worse probably would’ve happened.”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. If Albert knows, how many others know? Is he gonna tell the guys?”

“He probably doesn’t even know. Maybe he was just assuming.”

“I just… if any of the guys knew, I…”

“I know.” There’s a brief silence that Mush can only assume is a kiss. “I know. But, you can’t hide forever. Maybe you could start with one fella, like Mush. He’s your buddy.”

“Mush?” Race sniffles. He gives a slight, choked laugh that’s bitter on the tongue. “I don’t even wanna think about what he’d do.”

“Maybe he knows how you feel.”

“I doubt that.” Race mutters. “He’d probably want nothing to do with me.”

The newsie that let Mush in is now standing at the door, too. They knock on the door, much to Mush’s surprise.

“Not now.” Spot calls out.

“Someone’s here to see Race.” The newsie says. “I think it’s important.”

There’s a pause. A pause that’s too long. “Bring’im in.” Spot sighs.

The door opens to Mush, and both their faces drop. Race is sitting down with Spot kneeling in front of him, holding his hands. “Race!” Mush quickly runs over and hugs him tight, kneeling beside him. “Good god, we got the fellas all over New York lookin’ for ya.”

“What?” Race says.

“I was freakin’ out, I— I couldn’t find you anywhere. So I ended up telling Davey, and he told Jack, and he rounded the newsies to go look for ya.”

Race’s eyes widen as he scrambles to his feet. “You told Davey I went to _Brooklyn?!_ ”

“No… t exactly.” Mush shakes his head as he watches Spot leave out of the corner of his eye. “He saw I was freakin’ out and I told him what went down.”

Race is silent for a moment. “How much’a that did you hear?”

“A lot.” Race sighs a curse and rubs the bridge of his nose, his lips pressed tight. “Race,” Mush says. “You really think I’d want nothin’ to do with you if I knew you were seein’ Spot?”

“What else was I supposed to think?” asks Race, a little more assertively. “What, just— everyone I know is into guys?”

“I dunno!” Mush says. “I mean— maybe. Do you know what New York is nicknamed?”

“What?”

“I-I heard from someone there’s alotta guys who like guys here. They travel in groups or somethin’.”

Race snorts. “That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

“Race, you could have told me!” Mush sighs. “It’s not that I wouldn’t want nothin’ to do with you. It ain’t like that at all! You really don’t trust me like that?”

“Well— I just—” Race stammers. “I don’t know, okay? I didn’t know who to tell, who would get me in trouble, what to say… I thought the guys were gonna be scared of me. I ain’t ever met someone who’s felt like this. A-And now I know you’re probably gonna go run your mouth and—”

“Race,” says Mush. “I don’t give a shit who you’re kissin’ on. You’re still my _best friend._ I want everything to do with you. I ain’t gonna tell no one. You know I’m like that.”

“You swear?” Race still shies away when Mush tries to hug him.

“Cross my heart swear.” Mush says. “If anythin’, I’m a little jealous. You got the King of Brooklyn on your side? Who don’t want that?”

Race gives a snicker through his distress. “I guess. I guess that’s kinda true.”

“C’mon, buddy.” Mush slowly wraps an arm around his best friend. “It’s gettin’ late. We got newsies up the wazoo lookin’ for ya. You don’t need to tell them what you were doin’. Between you and me, okay?”

Race gives a small smile and ruffles Mush’s hair. “Okay.”

“Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you'll get blush soon i promised this just somehow turned into a whole chapter


	6. The World's In Your Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blink learns why Mush never visits the Harlem River.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **HUGE ASS WARNING**  
>  if you have a fear of drowning or past experiences with almost drowning...... dont read past the bolded "~"s

A week later, Mush and Blink make plans to hang out again, the same area and time as usual. It’s happened a few other times before, and Mush has gotten used to sneaking out past curfew. He knows the exact bush Blink hangs out behind now. The midnight bell rings, and Mush slips out of bed, down the same road to the same bush. Blink is there waiting behind the bush, and he waves. “Mushy!” He whispers. “Over here!”

Mush trots over and helps Blink to his feet. “You ready to go?”

“You bet your ass I’m ready to go.” Blink grins. “I wanna show you to a place I like to go a lot.”

“Where is it?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.” Mush rolls his eyes. “Don’t be like that, Mush, I know you’ll love it.”

With that, Blink takes Mush by the wrist and leads him away to the so called “place.” Mush is obviously buzzing with excitement as they walk. He doesn’t even mind seeing the couple walking across the Brooklyn Bridge together. Blink leads Mush through a… strange path, to say the least. Down a hill, through a forest, across a path. The next thing Mush knows, he sees the Brooklyn Bridge go higher and higher above them. “Blink?” He asks. “Where _are_ we going?”

“I told you, it’s a _surprise._ ” Blink laughs. He leads Mush down a path until he suddenly stops. “We’re here.”

Mush looks around. “.... the Harlem River?”

“My favorite spot.” Blink picks up a small stone and steps near the edge of the path to toss it into the water. The stone hops maybe about three or four times before it gently sinks to the bottom, creating a ring each time it hops. Blink hands Mush a stone. “Here. I try makin’ a new record each time.”

Mush gives a quiet sigh. _Don’t be stupid, Mush. It’s just a stone. It’s just a river._ He tosses the stone underhand, but it merely sinks to the bottom.

“C’mon, Mush.” Blink rolls his eye. “You gotta be standin’ closer. Otherwise you’re just throwin’ stones into the water.” He takes Mush’s hand and pulls him to the edge of the river.

That’s what sets Mush off.

**~~~~~~~**  
_Mush is nearing thirteen years old when he almost drowns. He’s by the Harlem River, tossing stones into the water like it’s nobody’s business. He’s a master stone skipper, each stone having around five or six hops before it can finally sink. It’s become his ultimate pastime before he would head home for the day. But, one day Mush takes a step too far off the edge, and he tumbles into the water._

_Mush scrambles up to the surface and clings to a branch. He’s already coughing and gasping as he looks around and starts frantically calling for help. Panic is settling into his heart, sending adrenaline to his legs to kick faster to keep him afloat. He keeps screaming and yelling, he’s holding onto the branch for dear life. His voice begins to falter. His legs start to grow weary._

_He can’t give up, not now. There has to be someone, anyone around here. Mush tries to pull on the branch to help himself up. Maybe he can do this, he thinks. Maybe he can pull himself out and run home without any thought. However, when the branch snaps, Mush screams for help one last time. But he’s sent into the eerily still waters of the Harlem River before he can finish his plea._

_There’s only so much Mush can do to try and keep his head up. Exerted tears brim his eyes from his legs kicking. He’s trying to keep his breath steady. He can feel the fear churning his stomach that maybe no one is going to be around in time. Mush’s arms are frantically trying to paddle too. However, he merely keeps sinking. Mush’s legs give in, and he starts sinking. He forgets how long he’s holding his breath. Just a couple seconds later he can feel his body convulse with a breath._

_He coughs with the water entering his lungs, and he knows he’s done for. His racing mind stills. In fact, his whole body starts to still. He grows lightheaded. His hearing is tuning out the silence before him. He lets out one final yell that’s only muffled with the bubbles that travel to the surface, along with his breath. The last thing he sees before his eyes fall closed is a figure diving into the water._

_\----------_

_Mush is drifting in and out of consciousness. He can’t find it in himself to open his eyes or take a bigger breath. He can’t feel much. But, conversations drift in and out of his hearing on the occasion. He can mostly hear syllables, but there are a few key words his mind can comprehend._

_“Does... live...?”_

_“... doing…”_

_“... found… almost… help…”_

_“... you… him?”_

_“... river.”_

_“... sure… didn’t… him?”_

_“For God sake… please…”_

_A brief pause._

_“Thank you.”_

_\----------_

_Mush is suddenly coughing up water and shooting up in his bed. His muscles are crying out in pain, but he can’t stop coughing. Once his lungs are clear and his throat is raw, he takes large breaths that are welcoming to his senses. Colored spots blur his vision. Mush feels a hand rub up and down his back and create soothing circles. “Mush?” He hears Jack say. “Can you hear me? You okay?” Mush nods. He quickly leans into Jack to allow an arm around him. He’s unsure whether it’s the cold water or his own excess fear, but he’s shaking like a leaf. “Shhh,” Jack says. “You’re alright now. You’re home. Everythin’s gonna be alright.”_

_Mush hates to cry. He hates the feeling of his throat closing. He hates the tears that drip down from his eyes. He hates the fact his flushed-red face is the most blatant sign he’s upset. He hates when he’s suddenly unable to choke out a single sentence. But when he has his face buried into Jack’s chest with soft, quivering sobs, he cares a little less about what the newsies would think if they saw him cry. He feels another pair of arms enclose him in the group hug. He doesn’t need to look to know it’s Race. He also doesn’t need to look to know Race is choking up, too._

_“It’s okay.” Jack only tightens the hug. “It’s okay, Mush. That ain’t gonna happen again. I swear. Mush… Mush...”_

**~~~~~~~~~~**

“Mush!” The newsie jumps when he hears Blink call his name. “What, are you freakin’ out over there? I’ll show ya how to throw.”

Mush shakes his head. “H-Huh?” He falters. _Snap out of it, Meyers. Don’t freak out._

“C’mon. You just step forward like this…” Blink crouches on one leg slightly. “You gotta put the stone between your thumb and pointer. Keep your arm low. Then… go!” He tosses the stone. The stone manages to only hop three times before it solemnly sinks. “... okay, I haven’t done this in a while. But, you try! Didn’t you tell me you were the stone throwin’ master?”

Mush gulps and tries to mimic Blink. His hands are shaky as he leans forward on one leg. It’s just like those four years ago. His arm is low to the ground. He has his eye on his target. He’s about to throw…

His foot slips.

Mush is barely able to catch himself in time as he scrambles back, far from the River, against a tree. His heart starts to pound. _No. I can’t do it. I’m gonna drown. It almost happened again. I’m gonna drown._ Mush can still remember how it felt when the cold and suffocating water filled his lungs, when there was no one to save him before he sunk, when he felt a sort of fear he’s never felt before, when his muscles burned with exertion from a frantic attempt to swim.

“Oh, my God!” Blink doesn’t seem to notice Mush’s panic — yet — as he snorts with laughter. “You almost faceplanted right into the…. Mush?” Mush then meets his gaze, with one hand clutching his chest as he sinks to the ground. His face starts to heat up. “Mush?” Blink asks again. With no answer, Mush watches his face drop. “Oh shit.” The scab runs over and sits in front of him. “Mush? What’s up, Mushy?”

Mush tries to stay under control as he looks down at his knees. “N-Nothin’. Nothin’. Stupid.”

“It ain’t nothin’ if you freaked out over a river.” Blink shakes his head and brushes their fingers together. “What’s going on?”

Mush chews on his lip and feels his shoulders shake with every sob he holds back. “A-Almost drowned. Long time ago. I was a kid. Never learned to— to swim… scared me.”

Blink shifts in his attitude. He’s as soft and gentle as a baby animal. “Mush,” he murmurs. “Look at me.” Mush feels hands on his cheeks tilt his head up for the two to gaze at each other. Blink is wiping away every tear that leaves Mush’s eyes. “Slow down, Mushy. Slow down. It’s okay.” He slowly reaches down to touch Mush’s hand and hold it tight. “Just keep lookin’ at me… yeah, just like that. See? You’re already breathin’ good. It’s alright.”

Mush blinks enough tears away to meet Blink’s eye, and the hold on his hand grows tighter. Blink has the most gentlest look in his eye. His eye is so big, it could hold probably all of Earth just in his sweet brown iris. Mush squeezes Blink’s squishy hand and pulls him in for a hug. Blink’s unsure how to react, but he’s soon got his arms around Mush like a koala on a branch. “I’m sorry.” Blink says, his voice faltering with guilt. “I-I didn’t know you didn’t like this place.”

“It’s okay.” Mush replies. “I never went here again after I fell. So… I-I guess I sorta forgot about it too. I don’t remember who got me out, though. They told me it was Specs.” Blink only squeezes him tighter and rests his face in the newsie’s shoulder. The silence lasts for a minute or two. Mush sort of wishes it could last forever, until they break the hug and Mush stands up with a small, “Thanks.”

Blink springs up in pursuit. “Don’t sweat it. I don’t like when my best friend starts worryin’.” He thinks for a moment. “Actually… follow me. I think there’s someone you’d wanna meet.”

Mush and Blink are back at the bush within five or so minutes, and Mush is told to sit down and wait. Mush is awkwardly sitting behind a bush, fidgeting with the occasional blade of grass or leaf. But, five minutes later, he hears footsteps and voices and sees Blink emerge, leading someone by the hand. Only, this “someone” is Albert.

“I think you’ll like him,” Blink is saying. “He’s super sweet and he’s hilarious as hell.”

Albert is unsure at first, but he jumps back when he sees Mush. “Why is he here?!” He snarls.

“Albo, Albo!” Blink says. “Cool it! Mush ain’t dangerous. He doesn’t wanna hurt you.” Mush gives a small wave with a smile.

Albert bites his lip and keeps his distance. “How should you know? He’s buddies with Race. And he’s a newsie! You know we don’t trust newsies.”

“Albert!” Blink huffs. They look at each other. “Just give’im a chance. Please? Sit down with us for five minutes.” Blink plops down next to Mush, and he continues to gaze at Albert with his big eye. Albert gives a sigh and finally sits down to face the two. His muscles are tense, though, as if he’s ready to spring up and run any second.

“Hey.” Mush smiles.

Albert nods. “You sure you don’t have nothin’ on you?” Mush shakes his head. “You swear?”

“Albert,” says Blink. “This is the guy that stood up for one of our fellas.” He gives a smile. “You remember, right? He came runnin’ home with the widest eyes and said a newsie saved him from nearly gettin’ his ass beat.”

“Wait…” Albert looks at Mush and his eyes narrow. “For real?” Mush nods. Albert bites his lip and seems to relax a little. “Well… the kid did seem pretty happy when he came home. So… thank you, I guess. It’s just… y’know. Race is your buddy.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Mush shakes his head. “I never even knew you and Race knew each other. It’s alright, honestly.”

As the three of them talk into the late hours of the night, Blink is burrowing himself a little deeper into Mush’s side. Mush can’t blame him, as it’s starting to grow colder in the nights. He wraps an arm around Blink and lets the small scab burrow into his side until his movements gradually still. Maybe an hour or so later, Mush starts to stand up. But, Blink doesn’t budge. Mush looks down to see a lovely sight; Blink has fallen asleep against Mush’s side.

Albert notices, as well, and he can’t help a chuckle. “Classic Blink,” he says. “Once he sleeps on ya, you know you’re on his good side.” He gently prys Blink from Mush and scoops the boy up. “You be safe, alright?” Albert murmurs to Mush. “I know Blink must really care about’cha if he’s this comfortable with you.”

Mush nods. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. I just got to know him. It ain’t that hard, he’s just a kid.”

Albert seems to have a wider smile when Mush says that. “You take care of yourself, Mush.” He says. “There’s people out there that really care about’cha.”

The words stick with Mush even after he and Albert say their goodnights, and even as he’s walking home. _Kid Blink. My best friend. Me. His best friend. Albert. My friend. If only the other fellas knew as much about scabs as I did. Maybe I could meet Blink’s whole group of fellas one day. Maybe he could meet my group. I could even bring them back to The World if they wanted. They would love him._

Mush’s thoughts are completely ceased when he opens the door, and Davey is there waiting for him.


	7. Life's No Fun When You Don't Come Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it's for the best.  
> It is for the best.  
> It was for the best.  
> It wasn't for the best.

“So…”

Mush can feel fear strike his heart when Davey takes him by the hand and leads him outside. He looks tired — his eyes are drooping every couple seconds with the occasional yawn — but he’s certainly not going to sleep anytime soon. Mush is unsure of what to say. Davey is just… looking at him. He can’t bear to meet Davey’s, but he can’t look away either. Mush tries to explain himself, “Davey—”

“Don’t say anything.” Davey’s tone is… much more different than his usual, kind one. It doesn’t sound like he’s gonna explode, but he’s definitely planned this speech all night. “Do you _know_ how mortifying it is to find out one of your fellas ain’t home without tellin’ anyone?”

Mush only gives a blank stare in response. _What did he say?_ “Well, I—”

“I just wanna know; what the _hell_ is so important to you that you’re coming home in the ungodly hours past the curfew bells? Losing sleep? Wandering the streets, with probably nothing to protect you?” Davey lectures. “Mush, what if you got lost, or arrested, or God knows what else?”

“I’m here now, ain’t I?” Mush finally gets a word in. “I’m here. I ain’t dead. No one mugged me.”

“I at least like knowing all the fellas are sleeping and okay, rather than out on the streets with no protection, no supervision, and no sense of direction. I just want an answer; what are you doing out so late so often? Do you have some sort of gang or something?”

“No!” Mush huffs. “Blink ain’t even part of a gang—” _Uh oh._

Davey’s eyes stop drooping completely. He’s wide awake, now. “What?” He says. “All this time, you’re heading over to Brooklyn to hang out with _Kid Blink?_ I thought I told you to stay away from—”

“He’s not even dangerous!” Mush cuts Davey off. “I’ve known him for a… a month.” Just when he thinks his answer can’t get anymore dumber, out his mouth tumbles, “… he’s my friend.”

“Your friend?” Davey’s getting a little more fired up. “You think Kid Blink’s your friend? Mush, do you even know what scabs do? What they’ve done to us?”

“Yeah, but—”

“How do you know he hasn’t picked your pockets when you weren’t lookin’? How do you know he ain’t gonna get his fellas together one night and do somethin’ to you?”

“ _He isn’t like that!_ ” Mush finally shuts him up for just a few seconds. While catching his breath, Mush takes the floor for just a little while. “They don’t act out ‘cause they’re bored — at least most of ‘em. T-That’s the problem, all ‘cause of what happened, y-you just think those few fellas are like every scab you’ll meet! They barely got enough money to pay for their papes. They’re so tough ‘cause they’re always worryin’ if you’re gonna hurt them.”

“That’s what they _want_ you to think, Mush.” Davey rebukes. “You’ve been told scabs are cunning right? They manipulate people?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Can you remember the last time a scab tried to be nice to a newsie?”

“Can you remember the last time a _newsie_ tried to be nice to a _scab?_ ”

“What are you saying?” Davey glares.

“I’m just sayin’ maybe they aren’t the only bad guys here.”

Davey pauses, and his lips purse. “You know what?” He says. “If you wanna sneak out every night and risk your life for a scab, be my guest. But, Mush, I’m extremely scared for ya. What do you see in Blink that isn’t in any other scab?”

“He’s my friend.” Mush says again. “He’s nice to me. He tells me everything. He makes me laugh. He’s tough, yeah, but he’s amazing. And I care about him.” He pushes down the fear in his stomach that’s starting to flush his cheeks. “Maybe not in the way you ‘n Jack care about each other, but I—”

“What?” Davey’s eyes go wide. He folds his arms across his chest with his words speeding up and stumbling over one another. “What do you mean?”

“I.. I…” Mush feels regret sink in his stomach. “Nevermind.”

“What did you mean, Mush?”

“I said nevermind, Davey!” Mush raises one trembling hand to grip to his hat.

The two are silent for a while. It gives time for both Davey and Mush to catch their cool until Davey starts to speak again. “Mush,” says Davey, more quiet. “You can’t see him again.”

“He didn’t do nothin’ wrong.”

“I’m serious. You two sellin’ with each other is real dangerous behavior.”

Mush huffs, but his heart drops. “Who said we were sellin’ together?”

“I don’t know if it’s true,” Davey claims. “But — from what I heard — someone saw you guys, and told one of their friends, and it somehow wound up to me.” Mush can feel anger rise in his stomach. “If it’s true, you need to tell him tomorrow you can’t—”

“Who told you?” Mush snaps. “Huh? Is someone _really_ that set to piss me off?”

“Maybe they’re just—”

“Why didn’t they come talk to me?” Mush scoffs. “If they’ve got such a fuckin’ problem, we could settle it by Bottle Alley.”

“Mush!” Davey scolds, before his tone cools again — a little. “Maybe they didn’t talk to you, because they were too worried you might get mad. Did you ever think of that? I know for a fact the person that told me had no intent to “piss you off.” If anything, they were real worried about you. They care about you, very much. They’ve had experience with scabs in the past, so they know what they’re like.”

 _Who, though? Who’s so hellbent on making sure I’m not dead? I know I have friends, but who’s so hellbent about me ‘cause they had experience with… oh no._ Anger boils in Mush’s stomach like a burning stew. However instead of screaming, like he had wanted to, Mush’s voice grows weaker. “Well, that— that _fucker_ should know what it’s like to have a secret… he should know what it’s like to care for someone and.. and…” Tears fill his eyes while his fists clench. He gives up on the ability to stand.

“Mush, come here.” Davey tries to wrap his arms around Mush, but the boy flinches away. “Come inside, at least. You got work in the morning, and you’re not gonna get enough sleep as it is.”

Mush takes a deep enough breath to mutter out, “At least lemme do it after work.”

“What?”

“T-Tell Blink. That I can’t see him again.”

Davey considers the bargain, and he nods. Mush stands up without another word, and he rushes into the lodging house and into his bed. He can tell most of the newsies were awake to overhear, which causes him to dip under the covers and not move an inch. His sobs force themselves from his chest as silent wheezes. They rumble throughout his body, making him tremble harder. Mush sees a figure through his blankets move toward him in the dark. It raises its hand, but it stops and simply moves back a few feet. He then hears another quiet conversation — so quiet, he has to force himself to shut up to hear it.

“How’d it go?” Jack whispers.

“Don’t ask me.” Davey mutters, his throat tight.

“Hey, hey.” Jack says. He says those two words, and Davey starts to break. “Sugar, c’mon…” Mush has never in his life heard Davey cry. It’s a heartbreaking thing to hear, and it’s clearly not a common occurrence.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” Davey says, almost inaudible from the cracks in his voice. “Jack, he wouldn’t even _listen_ to me.”

“Davey,” Jack coos. “C’mon, Crutchie’s sleeping inside tonight.” Their soft voices fade from Mush’s hearing. Mush is left alone for the night, with only his thoughts and his tears to keep him company until the morning bell rings.

As the night — and morning — goes on, Mush can’t help but think to himself, over and over again. _Blink wouldn’t do that. He’s not manipulative. He’s not “cunning.” He’s not rude. He’s just tough. If Davey would just listen to me for five seconds. Scabs aren’t manipulative. But… Davey said it’s what Blink wanted me to think. What if he’s right…? What if Blink really wants nothing to do with me? It’s just all one big plan, and he’s just waiting to pounce? What’s gonna happen if I sneak out one night, and Blink’s there with his buddies, and I ain’t got nothing to defend myself with? But, I saw how he reacted when he saw my dagger… I don’t even know who to trust, anymore. I made Davey cry. Davey’s probably lost sleep over me before. He doesn’t deserve that. Maybe if I drop him, everything will just go back to normal. I won’t have to worry about who’s gonna see me, what time it is so I’ll be back before the bells. Maybe it’ll be easier on Blink, too._

_Maybe it is for the best._

\----------

Throughout the selling day, Blink’s too-chirpy voice stabs a fresh wave of pain into Mush’s heart. Mush is constantly looking left and right for possible newsies eavesdropping. Anytime Blink asks Mush if he’s okay, Mush simply says, “I’m okay. Just didn’t get a lotta sleep.”

The end of the day finally comes. All their papers are sold. Blink is extra chirpy today. “So, am I gonna see ya tonight?” Blink asks. “I know you’re tired ‘n all, but—”

“Actually, I…” Mush feels butterflies in his stomach that are more like hornets. “I wanted to talk to you ‘bout somethin’.”

“Oh?” Blink says and turns to face him. “Whassup, Mushy?” He asks. Blink sits on the fountain and pats the spot next to him for Mush to sit down.

“So, I… um…” Mush takes a deep breath. _This is for the best._ “I was doin’ some thinkin’ last night. A-After I got home. I, uh… I realized maybe us sellin’ together isn’t the best idea.”

“What do you mean?” Blink’s still smiling, but he tilts his head.

“It’s kinda dangerous, y’know? I-I mean, you saw what happened on the first day. Albert probably woulda killed me if Davey didn’t step in.”

“But that’s just Albert. He knows you now.”

“Still, though,” says Mush. “I don’t… I don’t want one of our fellas comin’ up one day and knockin’ the other out. I always gotta make sure there’s not alotta people around. Besides, I don’t think our sales are doin’ too well.”

“So, you’re sayin’ we shouldn’t sell anymore?” Mush gives a nod, and he watches Blink’s face fall. “Oh.” He says. “Well, I get that. I guess. You still wanna hang out tonight, though, right?”

“No, Blink,” says Mush. “I mean, I— I can’t. I don’t think it’d be safe for either of us to hang out with each other anymore.”

Blink’s face falls. “Huh?” He says, fidgeting where he’s sitting. “What’re you sayin’, Mushy?”

“I’m just… I…” The anxiety in Mush’s stomach travels to his throat, and his speech stops to a screeching halt, “jammed” almost.

“You sayin’ we can’t see each other no more?”

“Well— I mean— not “no more”, I mean… it’s… yeah. I-I meant that.”

Mush doesn’t wanna look Blink in the eye, but he can see the world Blink holds in his eye shatter to pieces. “Why?” Blink says. “What— why are you suddenly so forward on not seein’ me?”

“It’s just, all the shit you’ve told me.” Mush says. “What if it ain’t true?”

Blink takes in a soft gasp. “Huh?” His voice grows progressively sadder. “Mushy, you know everythin’ I told you was nothin’ but honesty.”

“But, everytime I sneak out to see you. I realized I’m worryin’ alotta my friends. Hell, they could be losin’ sleep over me. Maybe it’s… y’know, it’s for the best if we just act like neither of us existed. Everythin’ could go back to normal.”

“Normal?” Blink’s throat starts to tighten. “You mean it wasn’t..?” Pause. “Mushy, I just— I don’t understand.”

“We don’t gotta worry about getting caught.” Mush’s mind is racing, practically on autopilot. “Curfew, that kinda shit… y’know? I just don’t want you gettin’ hurt.”

“Mush, please.” Blink says, standing up. “If— if you don’t like me anymore, you can just tell me.”

“It’s not that. I-I do like ya, but… y’know how scabs can be sorta cunning? Sayin’ things only other people wanna—”

Everything happens so fast, but Mush suddenly hears a splash roar in his ears. The next thing he knows, his clothes are damp and his skin is freezing. Blink is now standing above him with a look in his eyes that’s completely different. In fact, it’s similar to the fire in his eyes when they first met…

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” Blink hisses. “All the shit I told you, I _trusted_ you with, you suddenly turn around and say it’s all bullshit?”

Mush sits up and gives a quick glance. He was sitting right in the fountain. Only a few seconds of observation can make Mush conclude he was shoved. He’s lost his ability to speak, now.

Blink can’t help but laugh. It’s a bitter one, one that shows no joy, but he still laughs. “I shoulda known some shit like this would happen. Of course some shit like this would come from a _newsie._ You think we’re all the same.”

Mush manages to stand up out of the fountain as he feels anger spark in his stomach. “Maybe I should’ve known better than to trust a scab, after all. Even after this, you’re still the same as you were a month ago.”

Blink huffs. “I thought you were different, Mush. I really did. I thought you were my best friend. I thought you actually had the brain capacity to listen to me, and trust me. But now I’m standin’ here thinkin’, I can’t believe I didn’t deck this fucker in the face when I had the chance.”

Mush steps a little closer. “I don’t see what’s stoppin’ you now.”

“Oh, no,” Blink says. “I’m pretty sure you’re so dumb you wouldn’t even feel it. I’d rather leave you to go fuck off with Race or Davey, or— or whoever the fuck told you to do this, a’ight?”

“No one told me to do this!”

“So you randomly decided you didn’t like me anymore at three in the morning? Just—” Blink snaps his fingers. “—like that?”

“You know what, yeah! Yeah, I guess it was—” Mush snaps his fingers. “—like that. You got your answer now?”

Blink’s brow furrows as he merely growls, “Fuck off.”

“Right back at’cha.” Mush turns around and he storms away from Kid Blink without a second word. _That’s it,_ he thinks. _No more Kid Blink. No more selling together. It’s for the best. No one’s gonna be on my ass anymore. It was for the best._

He passes by the deli, and Jack opens the door to stop him. “Mush?” He asks. “What happened to you? Why’re you all wet?” No answer. “Okay…” Jack says a little awkwardly. “Well, ain’t you gonna join us? We were all waitin’ for you.”

Mush shakes his head. “Not hungry.” He nudges past Jack and towards the direction of the lodging house, where he can feel his face flush. _It wasn’t for the best._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i pre-planned the other chapters and?? holy shit we wont have eight chapters this time


	8. Suddenly, Nothing Feels Quite Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mush isn’t the same after he left Kid Blink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this was one big chapter but i divided it in half SO two new chapters wowzers

Mush isn’t really the same. He’s stopped talking to the fellas outside of work. He doesn’t smile or cry a lot. Mush doesn’t talk a lot, but he certainly thinks. His mind has become his lips, his tongue, his teeth, his vocal chords. Everyday, he thinks to himself, _I could have done better. I could have told the truth. It wasn’t for the best. It wasn’t for the best._

They suspect something is wrong when Mush stops coming to the deli. They’re all waiting. But, Jack walks back in with a defeated look and says, “He ain’t hungry.” They simply brush it off and continue talking.

When they’re home, they can’t find Mush. He’s not in his usual hangout area with Race. “Do I have to get together another search party?” Jack smirks. It earns a flick on the temple from Davey.

Crutchie, however, has his own assumptions. He heads up the staircase that leads to the rooftop. Mush is sitting there, quietly calm as ever. His knees are hugged to his chest. “Mush?” Crutchie asks. Mush only shoots a glance at him, and Crutchie smiles brightly. “Hey, buddy,” he says. “The guys were startin’ to crap themselves because they couldn’t find you.” He laughs. “Davey, especially.” He holds his hand out. “You wanna come downstairs?” Mush shakes his head. “I’ll just let the guys know. But, when the bell rings you gotta come down, y’know? Jack ‘n I sleep up here.” Mush nods. It becomes a regular occurrence, and Jack and Crutchie always try to coax him down. Eventually, they give up and let him sit there until bedtime.

They know something is really wrong one day when Mush is at his usual place. He’s even started to grow more quiet with his selling of his papers. Rather than talking, Mush has resorted to doing impressive stunts and simply handing the papers out with a charming smile. It doesn’t do a whole lot, but it gets the job done. Mush is peaceful, at least as peaceful as he can be, but Race jogs up to him with a grin.

“Mush!” Race chirps and throws his arm around the shorter newsie. Mush isn’t as used to affection anymore — even though Race has been trying everything in his power to change that. “You up for a li’l teamwork?” Race holds up his papers with a wing. “I get you’re probably lonely ‘n all.”

Mush only gives a shrug with a half-smile, and the day goes on. But, Mush can tell that selling together isn’t the only thing on Race’s mind. Mush is exhausted from the various stunts he’s done, but their papers are gone and they’ve earned their couple pennies for the day. “Mush,” Race says. “You wanna come to the diner with me?” Mush shakes his head. “Pleaaasseeeee?” He gives a faux whine and leans on Mush. “I’ve been so bored without’cha.”

Mush only moves away with a shrug. “Mush,” Race gives a sigh. The mood starts to drop. “You gotta get over Blink. He’s old news. It happened almost three weeks ago.”

_I don’t care how long it took. I don’t even know why I’m still upset._

“For God sake, Mush. Don’t just stand there with your back turned, _talk_ to me. I don’t know what happened to you — I don’t know where my best friend went. But I miss him. I miss your voice, your smile, your dumbass jokes. I just want my best friend again.”

_You should know a lot about turning your back. Hell, you should what it’s like to keep a secret. And what’d you do? You ran your mouth to Davey._

“Please, Mush.” Race says. “I’ve been your best friend since you first got here. Just gimme somethin’, please?”

 _I’m just gonna go home. Don’t wait up._ Mush starts to walk away, much to Race’s dismay.

“Mush!” Race says. “Don’t walk away like that.” Mush doesn’t listen.

The next day, Mush is walking home when he sees the door to the deli open. Jack is there. “Hey kid,” he says gently. “You hungry or anythin’?” Mush simply walks a little faster, but Jack is quicker — somehow — as he takes Mush by the hand. Mush jumps and whirls around with wide eyes. “Shhh, shh,” Jack begins to coax him with a soft voice, like a scared animal. “Davey ‘n I just wanna talk to ya. You didn’t do nothin’ wrong, okay? Just for a little while,” he says. “It’ll be quick, I promise.”

Mush is sat down at a table, just with Davey, Jack, and Race. It’s eerily creepy to Mush, as if it’s some sort of intervention. An intervention everyone’s seemingly blind to, as they’re all talking and laughing like nothing is wrong. “Mush,” says Davey. “I just wanna ask you some things.” He’s gentle, but his voice quavers every couple of seconds. “What happened to you, huh? You ain’t yourself. I don’t see you anymore, I can’t remember the last time you’ve talked to any of us. You wanna tell us what’s going on?”

Mush doesn’t answer, though his mind is popping out answers like a machine. _I could have let go of Blink in a better way. He was my best friend, and you told me to stay away from him._

Davey gives a sigh. “Mush, please…”

“He wouldn’t even talk to me yesterday at work.” Race adds. “In fact, he ain’t talkin’ at work at all.”

_Because everytime I try to say something, I just fuck up. That’s all I do._

“Please, kid,” Jack tries to reach for Mush’s hand to rub it gently. “You don’t even gotta talk. Just do somethin’,” he says. “Anything.”

Mush, rejects the attempt of affection. Instead, he stands up and walks out the door. Davey sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. “Well,” Jack says in a solemn tone. “At least he did somethin’.”

Even Albert still isn’t exactly over it. When Mush is taking a walk one day, he sees Albert storm towards him and turns the other way. “Don’t you fucking move.” Albert growls as he marches over. He reels his fist back, and Mush braces himself. However, Albert doesn’t punch. He doesn’t do… anything. His fist weakens. Albert’s arm drops completely. His face melts from furious to a distorted mix of defeated, disappointed, and the kind of sadness one would only see at a funeral. “I don’t believe you.” Albert says. “He cared for you. He gave you everything he had. And you just chucked it out the window — for what?”

_It wasn’t my fault. I still care for him a lot, I just didn’t have a choice. I know it’s too late, but just tell him I hope he’s okay. He’s still my best friend to me._

“Nothin’ to say, huh?” Albert mutters. He gives a defeated chuckle and looks to the ground. “I thought not. I just figured you should know. Blink’s super pissed at you, but… he’s still hopin’ you come back around. But I wouldn’t expect that from you. See you around, asshole.” Albert walks off with nothing more to say.

Maybe a month or two later, Mush finds his feet walking in the opposite direction from home. He walks down a familiar road. _No. What am I doing? I haven’t gone this way in so long. I’m not seeing Kid Blink. If anything, he’d gut me if he ever saw me._ However, he doesn’t head towards the bush. Mush starts taking a detour. Through trees, across a path, down a steep hill. All until Mush ends up by… the river. A natural sense of adrenaline kicks in, but his feet keep taking him to the river until he sits down beside the edge. He sits close, but not too close. The river is very calm and still in his movements, only with the occasional ripple of water passing by. Mush almost finds it kinda… nice. _I could see why Blink went here a lot._ He takes a slow breath when a gentle breeze blows against him. _No one to bother you. Nothing too loud or distracting. Just you._

Mush’s hand runs across the ground until it picks up a stone, small and grey and smooth. Mush runs his thumb over it before he gives it a gentle toss into the water. Conveniently, it skips once or twice, which sparks amusement in Mush. _I didn’t know I still had it._ As he continues to sit by the river and toss stones, he starts to imagine Kid Blink beside him. Tossing stones with him. Laughing. Sharing secrets, and the occasional hug. It makes Mush sad, but not too sad. All he can focus on is the fresh air in his lungs and the soft rustling of trees.

It’s not until before curfew Mush has a risky idea. He dips one hand into the water — it’s cold. But it’s a good kind of cold. As in, refreshing-in-the-morning cold. Mush gently wades his hand in the water before he dips his other hand in and pulls both of them up to cup over his face. He doesn’t splash water into him, rather he lets the water from his hands onto his face. It’s relaxing, and jolts his heart like he’s been woken from a dream. He shakes his hands dry and hears the curfew bell ring. _Guess good things can’t last forever._ He takes a final breath, and begins his run back home.

He’s the last newsie in, but this time he’s able to join the crowd of newsies when filing in. He sees Davey by the door, counting each head he sees. _Classic._ Davey’s eyes widen when he counts Mush’s head as the last one. “Mush?” Davey says, partially disbelieved. “You weren’t up on the roof?” Mush shakes his head. “Where were you? Why’s your face all wet?”

Mush only gives a shrug and walks in. He sees other newsies looking at him, but all he can focus on is hanging up his hat and slipping into bed with his eyes closed. Even though he can’t sleep for a while after the bells ring, he still feels more relaxed than he has in months. However, his ear picks up on one very quiet conversation with a still-lit candle.

“... acted weird.” Davey whispers.

“What do you mean?” Jack whispers back. The two are sitting on Davey’s bed together, facing each other with Davey at the headboard and Jack at the foot. Jack’s holding Davey’s hands and meeting his eye with great intent.

“He wasn’t on the roof when we got home,” says Davey. “He was comin’ home with the others. And… he was almost smiling.”

Jack’s brow goes up. “That’s new.”

“No kiddin’.”

“Did he say anything to ya?”

“No.”

Jack sighs.

“I’m pretty sure he was by the river.” Davey claims.

Jack gives a soft huff. “You got your newsies crossed, sugar. Mush doesn’t even go near water.”

“I’m serious.” Davey responds. “His face and hands were kinda soaked. It’s kinda strange… why’s he goin’ to somewhere he’s afraid of?”

“I don’t think that’s what matters,” Jack murmurs. “He’s comin’ home with us, Davey. All this while, he’s been avoiding us. If we give it just another month, he could start smilin’ again. Maybe he could even say somethin’ one day.”

“Yeah.” Davey looks down. He doesn’t seem too enthused. “Someday.”

“Davey…” the boy in blue whines softly. “You’re not lookin’ at me. Whassup?”

“When I talked to him.” Davey mumbles. Jack’s arms are coaxing him to change his position and lean into Jack. “I told Mush he couldn’t see the kid again. Ever since then, he’s… been avoiding me. And then everyone else.”

“Maybe he just needs time to—”

“Jack, I’m worried I caused all this.” Davey’s throat tightens progressively throughout his quiet but mildly frantic ramblings. “I caused Mush to shut down like this. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to say. I-I mean— usually, he talks to me about something that’s wrong, but now he won’t even talk to me. I don’t know what to do anymo—”

Jack cuts him off with a kiss. It’s very sudden, but it shows a gentle intent. It certainly soothes Davey, as his tense muscles relax in Jack’s hold. “That’s it,” Jack has one hand on Davey’s chest as he mumbles against his lips. “Nice ‘n slow, Dave… just like that.” He pulls Davey’s cap to run fingers through his hair. “It wasn’t you,” Jack says once Davey seems less distressed. “I promise. Sugar, it don’t matter if that scab is dangerous or not. Mush _cared_ ‘bout him. Maybe not in a… y’know, ‘lovey-dovey’ way. But I bet you he still cares about him. I know scabs are pretty nasty, but.. if he meant that much to Mush, maybe we could find a way to compromise.”

Davey sighs. “I don’t know what compromise there could be.”

“How’s about we think about it in the mornin’?” Jack yawns. “I’m too beat to think.”

“But you’re not too tired to put up with me?” Davey lays down with Jack already wrapping his whole body around him.

“I never said I was.” Jack mumbles, his voice sounding muffled. “I don’t think I could ever say I am.”

Davey can’t help a smile. “Sometimes I love you so much, it hurts.” Jack mumbles something inaudible, and with that, the candle is out.

Mush definitely needs answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you understand my title references we’re homies for life


	9. Drowned In Your Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mush and Davey have a talk on the roof.  
> !! WARNING !!  
> If you have a fear of drowning (whether by experience or not), do NOT read past Mush heading to the river.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this + ch 8 were originally one chapter so i divided it in half HOOT

Mush has been preparing himself all morning, all day, all week, and he’s still terrified to open his mouth and talk. He’s worried it’d cause too much of a fuss around the newsies, or his voice would be permanently broken, or something along those lines. But, Mush forces himself away from walking to the river, and he instead marches straight to the lodging house where all the newsies are filing in. Mush ignores Davey’s pleased greeting and simply points to the top of the building.

“What’s up?” Davey asks. Mush continues to point upward. “What’s wrong? You wanna talk with me?” Mush nods. He takes Davey’s wrist and rushes through the lodging house up the stairs. He helps Davey up the ladder and sits down on the roof with him. “Okay.” Davey says as he reaches for his notebook with a pencil behind his ear. “What’d you wanna talk to me about?”

Mush puts a hand on the notebook to indicate for Davey to put it away, to which he does so with a furrowed brow. Mush takes a deep breath. And another. And another. _I can’t let my courage slip away. Not now. I’ve prepared for this all week. I didn’t have a breakdown at the river for nothing._ Mush opens his mouth, and he can see Davey’s eyed widen. The natural fear of him talking is burning in his stomach, but he stills his shaking hands for just a moment. “I…” Mush stutters out a single word, his breath hitching. “I-I…”

Davey is obviously ecstatic, but it’s masked with patience as he holds Mush’s hands to rub the backs of them with his thumbs. “Yeah?” He encourages him. “Go on, Mush.”

“Hey.” Mush mutters with a soft gulp. The tight grip on Davey’s hands is enough to melt his fear away, little by little.

“Hey.” Davey’s grinning and gently brushing away small, scared tears from Mush’s eyes. “You’re doin’ great.”

Mush remembers his rehearsed lines, and he lets out his old breath before holding in a new one. “I-I… wanted to ask you. About Jack.”

“You did?” Davey goes tense for merely half a second before he seems to remember their last “real” conversation.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Davey gazes at Mush, giving him full undivided attention. “What’d you wanna ask me?”

“How’d you meet Jack?”

Davey has a reaction where it seems like he’s both been expecting and not expecting this question. He gives a soft, “Oh,” but he laughs. “Well… it was my first day here. I paid for twenty papes, but they gave me nineteen. I tried bringing it up, but they just got all snappy. I really thought I was done for, but Jack? He swooped in and stood up for me. Even if I didn’t know him back then, I really thought it was sweet.”

“When did you know you… liked him?”

“Now that, I still don’t know the answer to.” Davey says. “I didn’t find out I loved him until much later — maybe when we formed the union. But, I started feeling that way when I learned about his art.” Davey looks over to Jack’s art supplies with a reminiscent smile. “I’ll never forget when Miss Medda Larkin showed us this beautiful mural he painted. All by himself.”

Mush nods. “Y-Yeah. He’s real good.”

“Exactly what I told him,” says Davey. “He still doesn’t believe it, no matter how many times I told him.”

“What do you like about Jack?”

“Oh,” Davey bursts into a grin. “We’re gonna be here all night.” Mush doesn’t respond. “He’s just the most kind-hearted soul you’ll ever meet. I already talked about his talent. He’s so excitable and humble. He tries to act tough, but I know he can’t around me. He’s like a human puppy dog; just all the world’s cuteness and charm and stupidity in one boy.”

Mush snorts. “Stupid?”

“Yeah.” Davey sighs. “Jack can be… a little stupid. A little _too_ stupid. He says a lot of things that make me question him. But, I wouldn’t want it any other way. At the end of the day, I love him all the same… it’s like he’s my soulmate.”

“Soulmate?” Mush murmurs. “What’s a soulmate?”

“A soulmate…” Davey stops to think. “It’s like, the one you’re destined to be with from the start. The one you wanna protect, and they wanna protect you. When you’re with them, all your problems just seem to… float away. Even when you feel like everyone’s against you, you take one look at their smile and you remember why you’re here. Some people don’t find theirs for a while, but once you’ve found them, you never wanna let go of them.”

“Don’t you ever get mad at him?”

“Sometimes,” Davey says. “But we always find a way to figure everything out. It takes a while, but at the end of it all it’s like I love him even more. If it’s possible.”

“How do you know if someone’s a soulmate?”

“Oh, you’ll know,” Davey sighs. “You’ll know…”

It’s silent for a moment, until the distant ringing of the bells causes Davey to stand up and stretch with Mush following. “Was that all?”

“Well… I…” Davey tilts his head when Mush speaks, in which the shorter boy is beginning to quiet down. “How do you know if you like someone… in that way?”

Davey pauses for a longer moment. “I think…” he says. “I think you should figure that out on your own terms. But, the way I can describe it is… you can’t imagine how you lived before you met them, and you can’t imagine how you _can_ live without them.”

“Let’s head to bed.”

Mush is more comfortable to sleep tonight. He even says goodnight to Race — which completely shakes him up in a joyful way — and hangs up his hat with a more content sigh. He feels his heart swell when he hears Davey —almost in full tears of joy — spilling his heart out to Jack. “Honeybun, he was _talking_ to me.” Davey is saying. “I-I was so worried, but he was starting to sound like… like Mush, again.”

Mush sleeps tonight, but he wakes up an hour or so before the bells. He lays awake, pondering what Davey had told him, repeating his words over and over. _”The one you’re destined to be with from the start.” “You don’t know how you can live without them.” “Even when you feel like everyone’s against you, you take one look at their smile and you remember why you’re here.”_

_I wonder if I have a soulmate… Blink seems to fit a lot of those words. He made me smile a lot. When he found out I was scared of rivers… he was real nice to me. He shared secrets with me. I wouldn’t mind seeing that side of him almost every day. But… sometimes, I wish I didn’t meet him. Because sometimes I can’t stop thinking about him. But it’s in the best way. I can’t sleep sometimes because my heart is beating so fast. Is that what being in love is like? Your stomach doing cartwheels?_

_Love… it sounds like such a weird concept. You got one person who gets you all red in the face and makes you laugh all the time and compliments you. You wanna spend everyday with them. You think everything they do is the greatest thing on the planet. You’d be willing to… travel across New York for them. Could that be the same for him?_

Mush’s crystal blue eyes then go wide at a question that sticks out in his mind. _Am I in love with Kid Blink?_

He lays there until the bells ring an hour later. As the newsies get ready, Mush is in a daze. He keeps thinking the question over and over again. _Am I in love with Kid Blink?_

His daze is momentarily interrupted by Jack tapping his shoulder. “Hey, kid.” He says. He still has an obvious tired-voice, but he’s smiling nonetheless. “I wanna ask you somethin’.” Mush tilts his head. “So… since you’re feelin’ a little more like your old self… you wanna head to the deli with us after work?”

Mush bites his lip in thought. He looks Jack in the eye, and he gives a nod. _Maybe an outing can take my mind off all this crap._ Jack grins and pats Mush’s cheek. “It’s good to be gettin’ you back, Mush.”

But even with the plans and while Mush gets his papers, he can think of nothing but that simple question. He needs a place to think, to clear his head, to take a breath. _Don’t freak out,_ he tells himself. _Don’t freak out. Just get through today, and you can head to the River. I can make it through today._

“Newsies! Hit the streets!”

_I can’t make it through today._

Mush takes off with the crowd of newsies dispersing, but he heads another direction. Towards the Brooklyn Bridge, down the path he’s memorized by heart, all until he sees the crystal clear waters of the Harlem River. Mush usually isn’t one to skip work — with what little pay he has, missing one day is a near death sentence — but he can hardly focus on the world around him. Mush sits by the edge of the river and hugs his knees to his chest. _I can’t cry,_ he thinks as he tries to force in deep breaths. _I can stay strong. Why am I so freaked out? Why do I wanna cry? Am I really this afraid over loving Kid Blink?_

Mush takes a gander into the water. His reflection is staring right back at him; wide-eyed, lips ever so slightly parted, flushed cheeks. Gazing into the water starts to settle Mush down. He reaches down to touch the reflection, in which the river’s fingertips meet his own. His fingers wade into the water by accident, but it slows Mush’s pulse. _It’s okay. It’s all okay. It’s me. I’m here. Maybe it’s going to be okay._

Mush sighs and pulls his hat off to pet through his light brown, messy hair. He’s now standing at the edge of the river. His hands grab onto the satchel’s leather strap and slowly lift it off him, and both it and his hat land on the ground with a gentle, _foomp._ He looks around and sees a larger stone. It’s jagged, pointed, a grainy-grey color. He picks it up. _Old habits, huh?_ He hangs his arm low. He barely crouches down on one foot for support. He lunges forward to toss the stone.

His foot gives way.

Mush plunges into cold, still waters, and that’s when the panic sets in. Mush’s legs are quick to start kicking up to the surface. He gasps for air and barely struggles to keep his head afloat. He starts to frantically kick and paddle to the surface, occasionally dipping underwater but coming right back up. His arms throw themselves onto the surface, his hands grabbing onto a thicker root growing from the ground.

For the first time in months, Mush yells. He screams. His voice is slightly broken from not being used in months, but he doesn’t care. He yells for help for what feels like an eternity. His legs are frantically kicking to keep him afloat, his hands are desperately grasping the root. Teardrops sting the corners of Mush’s eyes as his muscles beg for a rest. Mush continues to yell and scream and beg, but his body can wait no longer. His legs cease to kick. His hands start to loosen on their grip. His head sinks below water. A final thought in his brain confirms for him, _No one’s coming._

\----------

At the deli, Jack keeps nervously checking the window. He keeps opening the door. He keeps looking around the deli, counting heads under his breath. His nerves are obvious to anyone. His leg hasn’t bounced this hard while sitting in months. And his nerves are certainly no stranger to Davey.

“Jack.” Davey stands up and takes Jack’s wrist, for the boy in blue is about to open the door again. “Just come sit down. Please.”

“Mush said he’d be here.” Jack mumbles nervously. “What’s takin’ him so long?”

“Maybe he forgot?” Davey says. “He could be hanging out by the river.”

“Doin’ _what?_ ” Jack’s true nerves are starting to shine. “Dave, none of us know what Mush is really doin’ at the river. You don’t know if he’s even at the river. I don’t know what he could be doing that makes him so late. What if he’s missing? What if I need to round up the guys and—”

“Jackie.” Davey says in a softer tone. He brings Jack to their table and makes him sit with Davey. “Hush. He’ll be here. If he’s not there by the time we get home, we’ll start worrying about who and who not to send out. Okay?”

Jack takes a breath. “Okay. He seemed okay this morning.”

“I’m sure he is,” says Davey. “After all, like you said, what could be keeping him?”

\----------

Mush can’t see. Mush can’t hear. Mush can’t talk. Mush can’t even feel much. His whole body is still for God knows how long, until his whole body convulses and he is momentarily awake. He can feel some force push him onto his side as he starts to forcefully cough out every last drop of water that has filled his burning lungs. His mind is very hazy, though it’s still a quarter functional. Mush only coughs and coughs and coughs, until he collapses onto his back with blinding light. _Am I dying? Am I dead? Where am I?_

Mush can hear two faded voices. They seem to argue over something. They pause. And then one of them turns very frantic with their muffled words, until Mush slips back into unconsciousness again.


	10. Meeting The Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mush wakes up, meets a new scab, and reconciles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i may be delayed with chapters bc school starts for me on wednesday so im like EW

When Mush wakes up for good, the area is completely different. It’s dim, though warm, and the wallpaper is chipped. He’s laying inside a small, gray room with cleared out shelves. It faintly smells of musty bread, pastries, and other likings. _Am I in a pantry?_ Mush is laying on his back, able to feel the slight warmth of a candle next to him, and his chest is aching with each slow and shallow breath. He tries to support himself on his elbows. However, even that seems to be too much for him, for he can barely lift his head up without dull pain shooting through him.

“Careful.”

Mush jumps at a stranger’s voice next to him. Sitting next to Mush is a younger scab, with black curls and green eyes and pale, slightly freckled skin. His brows are naturally furrowed — as if he’s always worried — as he scans the newsie. Mush lays back on the makeshift bed the scab made for him and winces again.

“Sorry,” the scab mutters. “Didn’t mean to spook you.”

“Don’t…” Mush breathes, his voice revealing to be slightly hoarse. “Don’t worry.”

“I-I’m Pip.” The scab stammers — a common occurrence. “I’m your… nurse, I guess.”

“I’m Mush.”

“I know.” Mush gives him a look. “I mean— not that I know ya, but… I’m Blink’s buddy. H-He told me all about you.”

Mush sighs. “Great…” _The last person I wanna think about right now._

“Don’t try to talk a lot,” says Pip. “That water was cold.”

_No kidding._

“I think it might’ve made you sick.” Pip purses his lips together. “We’ll see once the… actual nurse is up.”

“Up? What time is it?”

Pip looks to a farther away clock, and he squints. “... late.” He guesses. “You were out for a few hours.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I nearly thought you were dead.” Pip says. His voice cracks, another common occurrence. He rubs his eyes and yawns — the poor boy looks too tired. Large, dark bags sag under his green-grey eyes as his knees are hugged to his chest.

“You can go to bed, y’know.” Mush says. “I’m not dead.”

“Yet.”

Mush does a double take.

“I’m— I’m kiddin’. Sorry.”

“It’s alright. I didn’t know.” Mush shakes his head and sighs. It’s awkwardly quiet for a while. “... where am I?”

“A bakery.”

 _One that clearly no one ever went into._ “How’d I get here?”

“Albert ‘n Blink, they— they came rushin’ in here.” Pip explains. “They was draggin’ you. Not really but— y-you know what I mean. But, Blink was askin’ around, he was trying to find help. The scabs were kinda scared ‘cause.. uh…”

“I’m a newsie?”

Pip flinches. “Yeah. But, I-I knew those two must’ve cared about’cha ‘cause when I said I’d take care of you, Blink hadn’t ever hugged me tighter.”

“So you just sat here waiting for me to wake up?”

“Sorta. I made sure you were dry and warm— as warm as you could be. I made sure you didn’t have any water in your lungs, I—” Pip is interrupted by a small coughing fit. “That still might happen. You’ll be fine, though.”

“Where’s everyone else?”

“Sleepin’. We took refuge in this old bakery. I tried tellin’ a kid it was haunted.”

Mush snorts. “Haunted?”

“Yeah. He almost believed me.”

It’s quiet again for a moment, though less awkward, and Mush’s eyes widen. “Oh, shit!” His heart pounds. “The guys! The deli! I-I gotta—” he sits straight up, but lets out a much louder shout of pain.

“Shhh!” Pip shushes him furiously, waving his hands.

“Sorry…!”

“You aren’t goin’ nowhere. You can’t even walk.” Pip lays him back down. “We can send a guy over to tell them where you are.”

“Are you kiddin’?” Mush wheezes softly in pain. “If you went over there, they’d sock you on sight.” Pip’s face falls to a rather pitiful expression. “No, wait I— I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant they’d… they…”

“No, no I get it.” Pip shakes his head, seeming to shrug it off.

“Besides, they’re probably all over New York. There’s probably no one at the lodging house.” Pip fidgets where he’s sitting, unresponsive. “But… it wouldn’t hurt to try, y’know?”

“M-Maybe.”

“Pip?” A tired, female voice sounds. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

“I have a patient.”

“I told you to let him sleep.” The voice reveals itself to be a scab with brown hair and brown eyes, with a backwards cap. _Just like Blink. It’s like he has a committee or something._

“He _was_ sleeping,” whines Pip. “Until he woke up. He’d be scared if he was alone, I’m protecting him.”

“Well,” the scab says. “He knows you’re not gonna stab him. C’mon, Pipsqueak, you’re gonna feel like hell in the morning if you don’t sleep.”

Pip flushes red and pouts. “I told you not to call me Pipsqueak.” He mutters.

Mush snorts again. “What is it, your real name?”

Pip tenses. “... yeah.” He stands up from his sitting position and stretches out. He looks down to the newsie. “Sleep well, Mush.”

“You too, Pip.”

Mush decides to leave the candle burning as his eyes begin to close. _I can’t even imagine what’s going on at home. Davey’s probably losing his mind. Jack’s probably sent the entirety of New York on a search. And Race… well, if he hasn’t killed someone by now, he will soon._ Mush cringes in fear at only thinking about it. He doesn’t want to; he doesn’t want to think about Davey’s tears, Jack’s dead and eerie silence, Race merely laying in bed twirling his cigar so much he’s ended up crushing it and has to get a new one.

 _I just hope I won’t be here long. But, if they knew where I was… they’d kill me for hiding with a bunch of scabs. And what’s gonna happen in the morning? What would the other scabs think of me? Is Blink gonna act like I even exist?_ He curls up while comforting sleep starts to wash over him like a soothing wave. _I’ll figure it out in the morning. Because, I’m not gonna be held hostage in a bakery without at least one answer._

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Mush is slowly awakened by the morning bells, though he can begin to see the warm and lazy sunrise peering in through the bakery’s dusty, cobwebbed windows. He’s as comfortable as he can manage to be, with his paper satchel being used for a pillow, but he’s comfortable. His breath is slow, and his eyes are scanning the plain, white ceiling above him.

“Hey.” Another voice says to him, though this one is familiar; it belongs to Albert. The scab walks into the pantry closet with a glass of water in his hand. Sitting down beside Mush, he holds up the glass. “I-I know water’s the last thing you wanna think about right now, but… it should help you.”

Mush manages to force his upper torso up somewhat to shakily hold the glass in his hand and drink up. “Thanks.” He says once finished.

“Don’t mention it.” Albert still sounds flat with his tone, as if he wouldn’t mind taking the chance he had and shivving him. “So, now you’re talkin’ now, huh?”

“Yeah. So, you ‘n Blink found me, huh?”

“Yeah. We thought we heard yellin’ while on a walk, and then we saw your bag and your hat by the edge of the water.” Albert cracks his knuckles occasionally. “I don’t know how Blink knew it was yours, but he just… he dove in without warning. He got’cha up, and you just suddenly woke up and.. and you started coughin’ water everywhere. Then, you were out again. He practically begged me to take you to the bakery.”

“Did he?” Mush mumbles.

“Yeah. I’m sure you met Pip.”

“Last night. Seems like a good kid.”

Albert shrugs. “He gets nervous a lot, so he’s kinda blunt, but he means well.” There’s a pause. “I’m… sorry.”

“What do you mean?”

“For almost punching you.”

Mush remembers, and he shifts in his position slightly. “It’s okay.”

“Good.” Albert says. “‘Cause I’m still not lettin’ go of what happened soon. And I’m sure Blink still ain’t forgivin’ you for a while, either.”

Mush turns his head away to divert eye contact. “Thanks.” Pause. “Do you know how long I’m gonna be here?”

Albert gives a shrug. “The hell if I know. We’re sendin’ scabs to find at least one of your buddies so they don’t think your dead. But, from what I heard, you gotta stay here for a day or two. Your muscles are still really weak."

Mush nods. “I get that.”

Albert bites his lip. “But… the kid is worried about you. I know after what happened, and… and how he acted, it seems like he don’t care about you no more. But, I could hardly even get him to sleep last night. He kept wakin’ up. Tryna peek in here to see if you were up yet. It nearly took all day and night to settle him down.” Upon closer inspection, Albert’s eyes are slightly red from the lack of sleep. “So… I know you don’t want him near you, but—”

“It’s not that.” Mush sighs. “I never hated that kid. I-I couldn’t.”

“What makes you think I’d believe you?” Albert’s voice is steadily calm, which adds to the blow.

“I… I just—”

“Albert?”’

The obviously tired voice of Kid Blink sounds from the crack of the door. Albert looks up with a sigh. “Blink,” he says. “I told you to go back to bed.”

“We gotta go soon.” Blink mutters.

“Oh.” Albert watches as Blink slowly leaves where he’s standing. Mush is barely able to lift his head up to watch him go, but he can feel his heart crumple all the same. “I’ll be back in a few hours.” He pats Mush’s shoulder. “You just… you rest up, okay?”

—————

The day goes by slowly. Mush spends most of it sleeping, with the occasional scab poking their head in. It’s not until near the end of the day when things get interesting, for Mush can hear a faint conversation outside the door of the closet.

“Blink, you gotta talk to him.”

“No, Albert.”

“He’s probably wondering about you.”

“He wants nothin’ to do with me. I’m a scab.”

“And his best friend.” Blink only gives a snort in reply. “Listen to me,” says Albert. “I know you act all tough after he dropped you. But I know for a fact you still care about him. You wouldn’t have dove in there if you didn’t care about him. I want you to talk to him, even if it’s just for five minutes. After that, you don’t gotta look at him ever again. But, don’t you try to tell me that you don’t care ‘bout someone who was knockin’ on death’s door just yesterday. You got that?”

Blink is silent. Five seconds of pure silence until the door opens, to which Mush is fully awake. He watches Blink walk over and sit beside him, but farther away. He doesn’t say anything. “I…” Mush starts. “Kid, I—”

“Don’t.” Blink gives a shuddered sigh. “Just don’t fuckin’ try, Mush. You’re real lucky I kept you from never bein’ found again, because I couldn’t give two shits about you.” He stares at his lap. “I mean, what am I supposed to expect? I knew you didn’t like me, so what’s me doin’ this _again_ gonna do?”

Mush slowly looks over to Blink. “What? What do you mean again?”

Blink freezes with a soft sniffle. “Who saved you the first time you almost drowned? When you were a kid?”

“Specs.”

“It wasn’t Specs. I-I was hangin’ around farther back and— and I heard yellin’. I ran as fast as I could, but I didn’t see nothin’ when I got there. But just a couple feet away I saw some bubbles come up, and somethin’ in the water. I dove in right away and… I guess I found you. Dragged you all the way to your home and handed you off to one of the guys. I never knew who I brought to the lodging house until you told me why you don’t like rivers.”

Mush feels his whole world twist into some strange, topsy-turvy reality. _Is he serious? A scab saved my life, and they still got the nerve to talk about them like that? I mean, I never really remembered who saved me. I knew it wasn’t Specs, but I didn’t expect it to be him…_ “So…” he puts the pieces together. “You got me outta the river? Twice?” Blink nods. “Why’d you do it? I’m not doubtin’ you, I just… I’m curious.”

Blink’s hands clench into fists, as if he’s trying to keep under control. “I did it ‘cause… well, ‘cause I couldn’t let someone drown. You think I’m that fucked?”

“No, not at all—”

“But,” Blink continues. “I guess… I-I guess it was because… I had the thought you still gave a shit. Because I don’t want no one to know, but—” he swallows a choke in his voice as he quickly wipes his eye. “I still give a shit about you.”

Mush feels his already crumpled heart shred into pieces as he hears Blink muffle his sobs. _I did this? I fucked him up that much? What kind of a guy am I?_ “Blink…”

“But, doesn’t matter, right?” Blink sniffles as he continues to wipe his eye of falling tears. “No one trusts a scab. Not even his best friend.”

“Blink, I wasn’t given a choice.” Mush finally gets a word in. Blink looks to him, tears and all, waiting for an answer. “I— after I got home, Davey was there waitin’. He started goin’ off about how dumb it was for me to be runnin’ back and forth so late every night. He told me to tell you that I didn’t wanna associate with you again.”

Blink’s brow furrows. “So you lied to me?” Mush doesn’t answer. “Mush, we could have worked out a secret plan or—”

“Davey’s got hawk-eyes,” says Mush. “He’d see me the moment I’d open my eyes. But… I really regretted it. After that, I-I didn’t say anythin’ for maybe… two months. I still give a shit about you. I didn’t mean nothin’ I said last time we talked, I swear on my life… literally.” He hears Blink hold in a snort, and he knows he’s winning. “I know you don’t believe a word I’m sayin’, but I… wanna be your best friend again. I was seriously fucked after I dropped you. But, like I said, I didn’t have a choice… I couldn’t let Davey down again.” _I’ve done it too many times already._

Blink is slow in his movements. First he pulls Mush’s hat off to pet through his hair. Then, he holds his hand. Then, he lays Mush’s head in his lap, arms around his neck in a mannerism similar a hug. “Mush,” Blink murmurs, still tearful but with a smile starting to curl on his soft lips. “Stop fuckin’ drowning.”

Mush only laughs and melts in the soft yet desperate hold. “If it means seein’ you, I’ll drown everyday.”

“I swear...”

Mush only sighs and looks up at the now dry-eyed scab. “So,” he asks. “We’re okay?”

Blink smiles and continues to comb through his hair. “We’re okay.” Mush’s smile, however, drops. “What?”

“They’re sendin’ scabs out to find newsies to get me,” says Mush. “And if they find out I’m hangin’ with you guys… if Davey knew…”

Blink frowns as well, and only hugs Mush tighter. “You’ll be okay.” He says. “If you tell him you almost drowned, he could cut you some slack.”

“But even then,” Mush sniffles. “I still ain’t allowed to see you.”

Blink is silent. He only continues to pet Mush. “Maybe it’ll be okay,” he says. “One day they’ll come around.”

“Yeah…” Mush says, letting his hand gently squeeze Blink's. “Someday.”


	11. Newfound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mush's friends come to the rescue.

A day passes. Mush’s muscles begin to heal rather quickly, with much attention and care from his rekindled friend again. He’s able to lift his head up with ease, though not for too long. Even emotionally, Mush is healing quickly. He talks more and more frequently without much trouble. He starts cracking jokes. He starts laughing more. He smiles more like he used to. The memories of those two days ago are behind him — mostly. However, if there’s one thing Mush can admit to, it’s that he gets homesick very easily. Sometimes he’ll have short periods of sniffling or silence throughout the day. Even with Blink by his side every night, Mush wishes he could get right up and run home, but his body still refuses to even sit upright — let alone stand up — without agonizing pain. For now, all he can do is support himself on his elbows and pray a scab brings a newsie back.

And one day, they do.

Mush is waking up from a mid-afternoon nap when he hears frantic chatter outside the door. Mush can hear various phrases like, “You swear?” or “Where is he?” until the door swings open.

And for the first time in a while, Mush sits fully upright.

Jack, Davey, and Race are all standing there. “Mush?!” Davey is the first to run in and scoop up the newsie in one of the most loving hugs he’s ever received. “For God’s sake, Mush, we looked all over New York for you!” Mush is right about his suspicions when he sees Davey: he looks like hell. Tired eyes, messy hair, a natural frown, furrowed brows. It’s similar for Jack and Race, too. “I-I mean— I was up almost all night, waiting for you to come home. And— and to find out all along that you were here? With a bunch of scabs…?”

“I know. I know.” Mush says, guilt churning in his stomach. “I-I didn’t mean to scare you guys. I really wanted to get home, I did, but— but I—”

“Shh.” Davey hushes him. With one arm holding Mush tight, the other hand gently waves through his hair. “Don’t freak yourself out, Mush. I just wish you would have talked to me, or… or something. _Anything._ You were doing so great the night before all this, what happened?”

“I’m sorry.”

“We don’t need no apologies.” Jack is next in line to hug him, as tight as a teddy bear. “We just needed to know you’re alive.”

Mush only squeezes Jack in return. Jack’s face temporarily drops into Mush’s shoulder with a shaky sigh. Mush can tell right there that Jack’s been worried to broken pieces, and it shrivels his heart with guilt. Mush has always seen Jack as a strong union leader, charismatic, brave, wise-cracking, yet above all; fatherly. And now Jack’s holding him tight like he’s been brought back from the dead. Yet, Jack is squeezing a little too tight, and Mush mutters a soft, “Ow.”

“Hm?” Jack looks up. “What happened? Them scabs didn’t hurt you, did they?”

“What? No, no I—”

Race nudges Jack out of the way. He looks probably the worst. He looks like he hasn’t slept in literal days. His ocean-blue eyes are bloodshot and starting to fill with tears. Sniffling, he too hugs Mush bone-crushingly tight. His body quivers with each sob he holds back, and Mush is sure he can feel his eyes mist. “What happened?” Race mumbles into his shoulder, his voice broken and small like a child. “Why’d you run away?”

“I-I… I didn’t run away.” Mush says. If it weren’t for Race’s death grip, Mush would perform his usual nervous habit of rocking and fidgeting. “The day Jack asked me to go to the deli, I… nothin’ felt right. Everythin’ seemed all messy. Like, there were just too many problems ‘n I didn’t know what to do. So I just ran to the river. When I got there, I walked to the edge and I… well, I…”

“Mush…?” Davey’s face grows dark with horror for just a mere second. “What happened?”

“I fell in.”

There’s a silent second. A cold, brewing, silent second. “You just fell in?” Davey repeats.

“Yes.” Mush nods.

“You swear that’s what happened?” Jack asks, the same edge in his voice.

“Lightnin’ strike me dead.” Mush answers. “I-I’m not like that. I swear.” There’s another second of tension hanging in the air before Race hugs him tighter. Jack’s shoulders drop in relief. Davey lets out a breath he’s been holding. _Was that what happened?_

“Mush,” Davey takes a deep breath and kneels down to cup Mush’s cheek. “We gotta get you home.”

“Yeah.” Race adds in. He’s beginning to settle down, tears stemming off, so he’s only left sniffling. “Everyone’s losin’ their shit.”

Mush sighs. “I know, I know. I wanna come home, too.”

“You can’t go tonight, though.” Albert’s voice sounds. He’s standing by the doorway. It seems like he was there all along.

Race jumps up to his feet, tense, and gives Albert a look. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not talking to you.” Albert — coldly — responds, then glances back to Mush. “You still can’t really walk that well, can you?”

Mush shrugs. “I dunno.”

“Well, until you can walk without trippin’ over yourself, you ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

Race scoffs. “Are you fuckin’ with me right now?”

“What?” Albert snaps. “What’s so important that you’ve gotta butt in — again?”

“Why can’t Mush recover at home?”

“The nurse said it was better he ain’t taken to a lot of places at once. He could prob’ly stand by tomorrow, but it’ll be luck if he can walk by next week. Hell, you could visit him after work.”

“Leave him? With you?” Race sneers.

“What are you tryna say, Higgins?” Albert steps closer.

Race tenses up, but he grows increasingly irate by each passing second. “I’m tryin’ to say; I don’t know what you and your buddies would get down to all the time, but whatever it is I don’t want Mush to be around without a buddy.”

Albert huffs, grabbing Race’s arm. “You’re sayin’ we’d gut him in his sleep?”

Mush tries to get Race’s attention. “Race—”

“You know what? Maybe!” Race shoves Albert away. “Gedoffame,” he snarls. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me.”

“Race.” Jack tries to separate the two who are growing closer to each other. “Maybe we should—”

“No!” Race hisses. “I ain’t leavin’ ‘till Fire Crotch over there lets us bring Mush home.”

“Fuck off,” Albert snaps. “Just fuck off, right now. I don’t need you around here sayin’ what I’m gonna do and not gonna do. You always got some kind of shit to say about me, don’t you? You can never just shut the fuck up, mind your own business, think about others for once?”

“Well maybe if you got your shit together, I’d keep my mouth shut.”

“You either mind your own business, or I’ll shut it for you.”

Race snorts. “You wouldn’t. You never had the balls to tell me anything. Classic Albert.”

Albert is finally set off. It all happens as fast as it began; Albert grabs Race by his shirt. He rears his fist back. Jack suddenly jumps in to knock Race down and out of the way. Albert’s fist lands right square in the newsie’s jaw. Jack shouts a curse and stumbles downward. Davey runs to Jack with a shout of his name. All in the span of three seconds.

Mush can barely comprehend what he saw. His throat is closed to the point of being unable to speak. All Mush sees is the final result; Race sitting up from being knocked to the ground. Jack supporting himself on one knee and one hand, the other hand rubbing his jaw. Davey kneeling down, rubbing Jack’s back up and down, murmuring questions with a soft, shaky voice. Albert standing above it all, fists clenched and breath ragged. Mush can feel his heart pounding in his chest, though he forces his mind to stop racing.

“Ugh…” Race groans to himself. “What the…” He looks at Jack. “Shit!” He gasps. “Jack, you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jack nods and tilts his head up. “I’m fine.” 

“Jackie, look at me.” Davey frantically mumbles. He cups Jack’s cheek for their eyes to meet as he checks for anything serious. There’s no blood or missing teeth or dislocation, but Mush can tell there’ll be a bruise tomorrow.

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with me,” Jack mumbles — Mush can tell it hurts to talk. “I’m okay, Dave. Really.”

“You dumbass,” Race says, still on edge from anger and adrenaline. “Why’d you do that?”

Jack bites his lip. “Instinct, I guess.”

Davey looks up to Albert with a look so cold and unlike him, Mush feels chills run up his spine. “We’re goin’ home. We’ll get Mush tomorrow.”

Albert is unsure what to say. “I—”

“Move it!” Race snarls.

“No!” Mush finally protests. He’s had enough. As the newsies turn back to him, Mush grips to the pole of the shelf he’s been laying by. He winces at dull pain in his muscles, but he forces his legs to support his upper half, and he’s soon standing with shaky legs. “Guys, just— just stop. Please.”

“Mush?” Race walks over to try and support him, though Mush seems to be adjusting quickly. “C’mon, we’re goin’ home—”

“No!” Mush protests again. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere ‘till you guys listen to me. About them.”

“Mush,” says Davey. “There’s nothin’ to—”

“No, Davey.” Mush says. “If it weren’t for scabs, I’d be lost and dead in the river. Blink ‘n Albert are the ones who got me out.”

“What?” Race said. “Well, that’s real nice, but—”

“But, nothing! You — and the fellas — are so caught up in what you think scabs are, you never took a chance to just _talk_ to ‘em.”

“‘Cause if we got anywhere near ‘em, they’d soak us on sight.” Race replies.

“No, it’s mainly ‘cause _you_ would say some bullshit.” Mush continues. “Albert swung ‘cause you set him off. Yeah, some scabs are rude ‘n they steal, some are no good. But, that doesn’t mean all scabs ain’t no good. Some newsies ain’t no good either. Like, some newsies can’t see past what a few scabs did a couple years ago. That’s why scabs are so tough: they think you’re gonna walk up one day and beat ‘em down.”

“Couple years ago?” Jack mutters. “What’re you…” it sinks in. “He told you?”

“Y-Yeah. But, he told me he didn’t know better. He was just a kid. It was them other boys who was rotten. Kid Blink is probably one of the nicest boys I ever met. All of ‘em; real sweethearts. When I was brought here, this younger kid sat with me. He was a li’l nervous — he didn’t talk too well — but he refused to sleep ‘cause he was so focused on lookin’ after me. I-I think his name was… Pip? Real good kid. Even Albert’s nice. Sorta. He still wants to kick my ass, I’m sure, but he helped Blink when they pulled me outta the river. He really cares about him, like a big brother.” Mush turns to Race. “Racer, I know you ‘n Albert had problems, but you need to face it upfront; he ‘n Kid Blink saved me. He cares about Blink, he cares about alotta people. Even me. I can probably guess he still cares ‘bout you, too.”

Race’s emotion is indescribable as he turns to the redhead, who starts to tense up. “You saved my best friend.” He murmurs. “So… thanks.”

Albert’s wide eyes show he wasn’t prepared for this. Race, his old flame from years ago, thanking him. “It’s…” he shoves his hands in his pockets. “It’s no big deal. Really. It’s Blink who you gotta thank.”

Race shakes his head and walks to him. “I know, but you helped him, too.”

“S-Sorry I punched your buddy.”

“Sorry I pissed you off.” Race admits. “And… by that I mean… not just today. In general.”

Albert bites his lip and steps a little closer. “It’s okay.”

Race nods. “Really,” he says. “You got no idea how I appreciate that. Mush is the closest buddy I got.” The newsie decides to make a bold move and put his hand on Albert’s shoulder. “Dunno what I’d do without him.”

Albert flinches just a little when the hand rests on his shoulder, but he looks to the hand, then to Race. Back to the hand, back to the Race. It’s almost as if he’s thinking, _Is he really forgiving me? After what I said?_

The hand on the shoulder evolves into a hug — awkward at first, but gradually genuine. Race gives a small laugh. “For the first time, I’m admittin’: I miss you stealin’ my cigars. Not in that way, but just as… y’know, a buddy?”

Albert nods. “I know. I-I miss it, too. I hate yellin’ at you all the time.”

“Me too.” The two break apart, and Albert can’t help but to crack a smile. It’s bright, ear to ear, and contagious. “So,” Race says. “We good?”

Albert nods and pats Race’s back. “We’re good.”

Mush can see Albert’s hand sneak into the newsie’s pocket and try to slip away, but Race is quicker to grab his wrist and reveal a cigar. “Don’t start it.” The blond boy snickers. “At least not now.”

While the two laugh and catch up, Mush’s attention draws onto the pair near the back. Jack slips an arm around Davey with a grin. “Who woulda thought, huh?” He says.

“What?” Davey gazes at him.

“It’d be like this.” Jack confirms. “I guess Mush knows more than you though, eh?”

“I guess you were right.” Davey grins. “He’s a smart kid.”

Jack’s lips then reach up to meet Davey’s cheek, to which he blushes in response. However, Davey leans down just slightly for their lips to meet, and the two are content.

“Well,” Race suddenly says, causing the two to break away. “Ain’t that somethin’? The least you could do is take it outside.” However, he’s grinning ear to ear, which makes the pair relax and lace their hands together again.

“Albert?” Blink peeks inside. “I heard yellin’, are you—” He freezes when he sees the newsies, especially when Race walks over. “L-Listen, I—” he tries to stay tough, but he’s growing quite nervous. “I didn’t try to do nothin’, I didn’t hurt him, I never—”

Race only kneels down to hug Kid Blink tight. Blink is confused at first. “Hey, what the fuck?!” He snaps. “G-Get off me, you… you…” he trails off when he figures out what’s happening.

“Thank you, Kid,” is all Race says. “Thank you so much.”

Kid Blink looks to the newsies, who are smiling at him. Mush can see Blink’s eye starting to water. “You’re…” the tiny scab returns the hug, and he smiles into Race’s shoulder. “You’re welcome, Racer.”

A scruffy, aggressive voice sounds from outside the room. “I don’t give a shit! Where is he?” A brief silence, then who comes rushing in but Spot Conlon. “Mush!” The Brooklyn boy briefly runs over to the slightly shorter boy. “Mush, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Mush hesitates before he answers in a confused tone.

“Okay, okay.” Spot sighs. “God damn, I got three kids wheezin’ and huffin’ and tellin’ me you went missin’. Where’d you go, and why are you in a pantry with—” He turns around and shuts up right away when he sees Albert standing before him. Various emotions flash through his eyes; rage, terror, disbelief, the whole nine yards.

“Oh.” Race stands up and walks to the two. “Spot, this is Albert. He’s my buddy. Albert, that’s Spot. He’s… the guy I’m seein’ right now.”

Spot nods. “Good to meet you.” He’s awkward and tense, though he begins to relax.

Albert nods. “You too.”

“Wait, Race; what’d you say?” Jack pipes in.

“You’re seein’ Spot?” Davey asks.

Race fidgets with his cigar and shifts his weight in between feet. “.... yeah.”

“How long?” Davey continues.

“Um… a while… almost two years.”

The other pair of newsies look at each other before Jack breaks the silence with, “Didn’t I tell you?”

Davey rolls his eyes. “Oh, c’mon, this means nothi—”

“I _told_ you!” Jack grins triumphantly. “For the past month, I _knew_ somethin’ was up!”

“Whether you knew it or not doesn’t mean you’re a psychic.”

“But it means I’m right.”

“Anyway,” Davey flicks Jack’s nose and grins to Race. “If anything, I’m a little surprised. You got Brooklyn’s leader on your good side. He’s tough as nails, ain’t he?”

Race snorts. “Anythin’ but.”

Blink walks over to Mush. “So, you’re walkin’ now, huh?”

“Yep.” Mush notices Blink’s face beginning to drop a little. “What?” asks Mush. “Whassup, buddy?”

“It’s just, you gotta go home soon.” Blink shrugs. “Then I can’t see you no more. I’m just… I dunno. I’ll miss you.”

Mush’s heart skips a beat when Blink says those three words. _I’ll miss you._ “I’ll miss you, too…”

Davey, apparently, was witnessing it, as he steps forward and clears his throat to get their attention. “Well, um… maybe once you’re able to get home… maybe Blink could, um, stay the night.” He smiles.

Kid Blink looks at Davey like he’s grown three heads. “What? Y-You serious?”

Jack stands beside Davey. “Yeah,” he answers. “Albert, too.”

Albert’s brows raise in interest. “I…” he says. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Good, ‘cause,” Davey says. “A-Anytime you guys wanna come over, you just come over… okay? ‘Cause, Blink, y’know… I see you mean a lot to Mush. A whole lot. But…” he looks to Jack for just a second. “I wouldn’t want you guys walking so far after work.”

“Especially when it gets darker,” says Jack. “And colder.”

“Yeah.” Albert comments.

“So,” says Davey. “Jackie, I think we should get goin’. Let the fellas know.”

Jack nods. “Let’s go.” He, Davey, and Race begin to head out the door, but Jack stops and turns around to the two scabs. “Ain’t you comin’ with us, guys?”

“Huh?” asks Blink. “Where?”

“Home.” Jack shrugs nonchalantly. “Or do you want the scabs holdin’ you hostage for the night, too?” He snickers.

Blink and Albert look at each other, then to Jack. “What are you sayin’...?” Albert slowly questions.

“I’m sayin’ we gotta get home.” Jack sighs as if he’s said it for the umpteenth time. “We’ve been waitin’ for, what, five years?”

Blink’s eye widens. “Y-You’re—” he starts rocking on his feet. “You’re wantin’ us to go back to The World?”

“I’m just sayin’,” answers Jack. “Wiesel’s gonna gripe and moan soon enough if you don’t get back there.”

Blink can hardly contain his excitement, but Albert remains calm with a grin as he replies with, “I think Blink ‘n I’ll stay here with Mush tonight. So he’s not so lonely.”

Davey smiles and waves to them. “We’ll see you guys tomorrow morning.” With that, the three of them — with Spot following — head out the bakery.

Mush would be doing flips if he had the strength, but he soon hears sniffling come from the tiny scab, and so does Albert. “Blink?” says Albert. “Blink, what is it?”

Blink, however, is smiling with a teary eye. “We’re goin’ home, Albert.”

The two smile and hug each other tight, but they stop for a second and reel Mush in. Mush can feel tears build in his own sky-blue eyes, but he could care less.

A couple scabs are revealed to be right outside the door, listening in. Two including Pip and the girl scab who asked Pip to sleep, along with a few others. Blink’s face drops a little. “Guys, I…” he says. “I-I’m real sorry I gotta leave ya. We used to work there. M-Maybe we could take you with us—”

“Blink,” Pip stammers with a smile. “It’s okay. We we— we was waitin’ for them to come get’cha. It was your first home, wasn’t it?”

“We’ll be alright.” The girlsie says. “We’re still kinda… wary about newsies. Plus, there might be too many of us to fit in that lodgin’ house.” She gives a laugh.

“Who knows?” Pip pipes up. “Maybe we could go there. One day. Maybe.”

Blink walks over to hug the stammering scab. “Thanks for bein’ here for me, Pip. You’re a real good kid, okay?”

Pip snickers. “Don’t make it so emotional. I’ll visit you a lot.”

Blink jumps up to ruffle his short, curly hair. “You better.”

With many near-tearful goodbyes, hugs, conversations, and Blink curling into Mush’s side while asleep, the first morning bell rings. Mush and Blink are awake in a near instant. Mush is clumsy with his steps at first, but he is soon walking out with Blink by his side, Albert waiting near the entrance of the bakery.

“You guys ready?” asks Albert.

Blink nods. “Yup. I’m ready.”

“Let’s go home.” Mush smiles.

The three of them begin their walk home. The sunrise’s glow help lights their path, signaling the beginning of a new day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter to go guys  
> it's a sad day


	12. Epilogue

When Albert and Blink arrive home, they’re nervous. Newsies are getting ready in the morning. It seems semi-normal. But the minute Mush steps in through the door, he hears someone shout, “Hey guys! Mush’s home!”

Romeo flings himself onto Mush almost immediately. “Mush!” He exclaims. “You dick! We thought you ran away!”

Mush hugs Romeo — and pries the boy off him. “I know. I know. I’m here, now. It’s alright. And, I brought presents.”

Romeo sees the two former scabs and backs away behind Elmer, who’s just arrived on the scene. “Scabs?!” He says, suddenly puffing his chest out to seem tough. “Why’d you bring scabs?”

“Ro, Dave told us last night.” Another voice comes around. “They were newsies a few years ago, but they quit.”

“Well, maybe I just didn’t hear it.” Romeo replies, faux-snarky.

“Maybe ‘cause you were busy with your buddy Elmer.” The newsie reveals himself to be a much taller boy, circular glasses encasing his eyes.

Albert stops what he’s doing, stops what he’s thinking. His eyes lay on the boy in glasses and he turns as red as his hair. _Who is he?_ He thinks. _I don’t remember seeing him when I worked here… maybe… I’m not sure._

Romeo only sticks his tongue out and leaves, Elmer by his side. Mush smiles up at the taller boy. “Specs, this is Kid Blink and Albert.”

Specs snickers at Kid Blink. “I kinda remember you,” he says. “You were just a baby.”

“I wasn’t a baby!” Kid Blink whines.

“Everyone’s a baby to Specs.” Mush says. “All because he calls himself the oldest.”

“I am the oldest.” Specs says, fake-proud.

“You’re seventeen.” Mush rolls his eyes.

“Nearly eighteen.” Specs looks to Albert, and he too stops. “Albert, huh?” He asks, his voice cracking a little.

“Yeah.” Albert nods. “I-I know you don’t really remember me, or—”

“No, no I do.” Specs nods. “It’s just… your hair. It’s covered up. So I didn’t recognize it.”

“Oh,” Albert shuffles his feet and pulls his cap off with hesitation to reveal his bright red hair. “This? Yeah, I-I thought it was kinda dumb. That ‘n some of the fellas would make fun of it sometimes, so… yeah.”

Specs shrugged. “Well… that’s kinda dumb. I like it.”

Albert laughs quietly and fits his hat back on. “Thanks.”

Fast forward a few hours, the newsies are in line. Blink is standing right between Albert and Mush, but he can see the window ahead of him. He looks calm enough on the surface, but he makes eye contact with a Delancey. He forgets which one, but he soon sees the boy’s eyes widen ever so slightly. He walks over to the brother manning the distribution stand, and the two whisper. Blink feels his stomach churn, but he knows he can’t run now. He backs away a little — right into Mush — and takes a breath.

Blink feels Mush’s hand gently glide up his back. “S’alright.” Mush says quietly. “They ain’t gonna hurt’cha. With Weasel around, those two lose all their power.” The both of them laugh, and Blink sees that Albert is next.

Wiesel is clearly not used to seeing this face around. “Have a look at this,” he says. “A new…” he looks up slightly to see Blink. “Two new kids.”

“We’ve been here before.” Albert mutters. “Few years back.”

“Oh.” Wiesel says. He doesn’t seem too overjoyous, but then again Blink doesn’t expect that much. “Don’t know where you ran off too, but drop your money or move along.” Albert drops his coin and jogs over to grab his papers.

Blink doesn’t say much. He only puts his coin down and walks to the table. However, when he sees the Delancey brothers, he gives a smile.

“So you’re back.” One of them, the one handing papers, murmurs. _Oscar,_ Blink suddenly remembers. _That’s Oscar. Morris is behind him._

“Better than ever.” Blink snickers and takes his papers. “It’s… good to see botha yous again.”

The two go stiff as boards and say nothing, for only a few seconds though. “What’d you just say?” Morris snarls.

Blink, however, doesn’t flinch. “I said, it’s good to see you.” He can’t help a smile. “Kinda missed you. Your dumbass brother, too.”

They look to each other, then to Blink, then to each other. Oscar only grumbles, “Move along, shortstock. You’re holding up the line.”

Blink trots along and grins when Jack pats his back. “Welcome back.” The boy in blue says. “You and your dumbass brother.” Albert smacks Jack with his hat.

\----------

And so, this is where our story begins to conclude. Jack and Davey’s relationship begins to grow, before the whole lodging house is aware. Davey is nervous when he starts telling newsies, one by one. For the first few days, the two would sit with each other, one of them shaking while the other held them. It takes a few days for it to become more casual, but Jack and Davey soon don’t need to tell them — word spreads quick in the lodging house. But with much effort and reassurance, the two can finally hold each other’s hands and lean on each other without much worry.

Albert and Race’s friendship starts to rekindle again. Even Race and Kid Blink grow a strong bond together. With Mush added to the mix, it’s a very tight friendship square. Albert and Race continue their dumb games of Albert taking his things, resulting in a chase around the lodging house — and Race catching the culprit within just a couple of minutes.

However, Mush stays relatively close with Blink. The two continue to sell together, walk to the deli together after work — sometimes with Race accompanying — and talking to each other, making each other laugh. Sometimes Mush will see another scab, mostly Pip, while walking to the deli. Blink and Pip will hug like they haven’t seen each other in years, and Pip will join their walks to the deli. Mush one day asks Pip to come inside, and a month or so later he’s working at The World.

However, while Blink, Race and Pip get lost in one of their conversations, too focused to be pulled out of, Mush allows himself to think. He allows himself to ponder over a thought that’s still lingered with him since the day he was brought to the bakery. _Do I like Kid Blink? In the “love” sense?_ He feels many emotions conflict and clash against one another. _I mean, it doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Nothing would be much different. Except… I could kiss him. But that’s not too weird. I think._ Mush feels his heart skip when he thinks about meeting the scab’s lips with his own. _But, if things didn’t work out… if he didn’t feel the same way… things would get real awkward. What did Davey say, again? If you love someone, you wanna protect them? I wanna protect Kid Blink, but I don’t know if I wanna “love” him. He’s just my best friend. And I wouldn’t ask for anything less. But how am I supposed to know? I never had a crush._ Mush sees Davey sitting with Jack through the tavern window. _Maybe they’ll know._

Mush walks in, and is greeted by the usual buddies. “You’re late,” Albert comments.

“Well,” Race goes right back. “Not my fault _someone_ can’t be specific on which route was quicker.”

“You never have a good time with directions, do you?” asks Mush.

Race tilts his head. “Huh?”

 _Oh. Right._ “Nothin’.” He rushes over to the table with the couple, Les, and various other newsies seated around it. Planting himself on a seat next to Romeo, he waves to some of the newsies who acknowledge him.

“Hey, Mush.” Jack grins, looking up from something in his lap momentarily before focusing back downwards.

Mush smiles, but looks to Davey. “Hey, I wanna, um… I-I got a few questions.”

Davey blinks. “Yeah? Whassup?”

“It’s…” Mush stammers. “It’s, um— I’ve been feelin’ sorta weird about something — not upset, I’m fine, it’s… I just feel weird. I keep thinkin’ about this one… person, and—”

Mush suddenly feels Romeo elbowing him in the arm. “You thinkin’ ‘bout a girl, huh? Not to worry.” The small boy pats himself on the chest. “You’re lookin’ at the number one ladies man in New York.”

Davey reaches over to flick his nose. “You mind your own business.” He gently scolds, then stands up after briefly shaking Jack’s shoulder.

“Dave…!” Jack whines. “You almost made me mess up!”

“I think it’s important.”

The three of them spill out of the deli like a small herd of sheep and sit together. “Okay, Mush.” Jack says. “What’s goin’ on?”

“So, there’s this… newsie, yeah?” Mush starts. The two nod. “And— I’m really close to this kid. They’re one of my best friends. T-They always got my back, even when I thought everyone hated me. They make me laugh real hard. We’re real close. And Dave, I-I was thinking about what you said when we talked about Jack—”

“Wait, you talked about me?” Jack’s brow furrows.

“—and it’s got me thinkin’... what if I liked that newsie… in that way? But, I don’t know. I mean, I like them, but I don’t _like_ them. They’re cute, and I wouldn’t mind if they kissed me, but I don’t think I’d do anythin’ about it. I mean, is it the same way when I think girls are pretty? I just think they’re pretty, but I don’t really “like” them? We’ve been through a lot, and I don’t wanna mess it up. But, sometimes when they’re laughin’ or talking to me, I get a stomach ache and my hands start sweatin’ and I get real shaky. I don’t know what to do.”

“Just tell him how you really feel.” Davey only smiles, with a matching grin from Jack.

“But—!” Mush flushes. “It’s— I’m not— he ain’t— I mean— it’s not a—… ohhh…” he finally gives up with a groan and falls against Jack’s shoulder.

Jack snickers and rubs up and down the boy’s back. “Don’t be embarrassed.” He comforts. “I was the same way when I met Davey. I couldn’t say a word.”

“Quite the contrary,” says Davey. “You wouldn’t shut up.”

Mush huffs. “Whaddo I even say? I never even liked no one before. I don’t know if _he_ likes _me._ ”

“Mush.” The newsie’s head perks up when Davey says his name. “You don’t have to tell him right now. But, if you keep it all to yourself, it’s gonna hurt you. I would know. Who knows? Something could happen.”

“You could drop hints.” Jack says. “Give’im a present. Ask him what he likes. Spend alotta time with him. Like Davey said, he probably likes you too.”

“He most likely doesn’t.” Mush mutters, drawing his knees to his chest. “I don’t think I could get anywhere with him.”

“Not with that attitude.” Davey responds. “You either hit or miss, but you’ve still gotta swing the bat; you might never get to play again.”

Mush stares blankly. So does Jack.

Davey sighs. “If you tell Kid you like him, it’s either gonna succeed or fail — that’s how it works. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have to try, because you most likely won’t have that chance ever again.”

“Well,” Mush considers. “I… I guess. Everyone’s gotta— wait… did you say Kid?”

“Yep.”

“As in… Kid Blink?” Mush grows red.

“Yes.”

Mush fidgets. “How would you know?”

“I just know.” Davey shrugs. “Trust me. I’m pretty sure.”

“You could have us help you out with it,” says Jack. “Like get you two together on a blind date, or whatever.”

“I need to think about it.”

\----------

Mush does think about it. He thinks about it for a year, perhaps longer. He’s completely unaware of how long the time has passed, but his thoughts increase with each passing day. _I don’t think Blink would kiss me. I wouldn’t mind if Blink kissed me. Blink could kiss me if he wanted to. I’d like Blink to kiss me. I’d love for Blink to kiss me. I want Blink to kiss me. I wish Blink would kiss me._ Whenever Blink ever wakes up from a rough night, Mush is the first one by his side, hugging him close until he’s sure the small boy is dead asleep again. Throughout the year, Mush finds he can’t really pry Blink from his side even if he tried, and even if he wanted to. Mush simply looks to his left, and Kid Blink is right there — beaming, chirping, and still looking tough as ever.

But one day, Blink detours from the lodging house when the newsies are headed home. Mush is confused, but he doesn’t ask questions and simply lets Blink fit their hands together to lead him off somewhere. The sun is beginning to set, and the cooler air of the autumn night is settling into Mush’s skin much quicker than usual. In fact, he can just ever so barely start to see his breath. Mush follows Blink down a familiar route, though it’s one they haven’t been down in a while. “Kid?” He says. “Where are you takin’ me?”

“Take a guess,” is all the newsie says. “I gotta… talk to you.”

Mush feels his heart stop and his steps stagger. “Don’t freak, I’m not mad. I just need to get it… y’know… off my chest.”

Mush nods and walks faster with the newsie until he can see that familiar bush by the Brooklyn Bridge. The two have never sat down quicker, and Mush has never seen Blink look so nervous. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” Blink swallows a lump in his throat as his hand wades through the grass. His thumb and index pluck out a blade of grass and start to fidget with it. “You know I like you, right Mush?”

“Well… yeah.” Mush is careful with his words. “You’re, like, one of my closest friends.”

“I mean— the way I’m feelin’, it’s—” Blink huffs. “It’s a lot “more” than friendship. Like, as in… I, uh… kissin’ and all that shit. I _really_ like you.”

Mush doesn’t answer. His eyes are wide. _Am I drunk? Am I dead or am I dreaming? This can’t be real. Blink’s got a crush on me?_

Blink is anxious, as if it’s not obvious by the blade of grass being torn to shreds. “Shit,” he mutters. “T-That wasn’t the right thing to say, was it? I’m sorry.” He shifts in his spot until he’s sitting beside Mush. “I-I guess I shoulda known. You can just— you can ignore it, I know you not sayin’ nothin means you don’t—”

A kiss on the cheek; that’s all it takes for Blink to shut up. Mush leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek, and a smile. Mush has never seen Blink turn that red before, and it prides him. Mush, however, doesn’t move fast enough, and the small boy turns his head for their lips to brush on accident. The two of them jump back nearly three feet, but with a small, “Oh,” from Mush, they burst into laughter.

“What the fuck?” Mush huffs with a snicker. “Was that on purpose?”

“No, you ass, you’re just too slow.” Blink laughs more until the two scoot closer again. “If you wanted to try again, though, I… don’t care.”

“Me neither.” Mush can feel the anticipation from the stare building up, until he leans in to meet Blink’s lips for one second. It’s a sort of strange feeling, though Blink’s lips are soft, and the two are as red as tulips.

Blink smiles. Mush smiles. Blink leans into Mush’s arms as they share a longer kiss under the slightly dim glow of the moon hiding behind the clouds. They pull away when Mush feels a drop of water on his head. Then another. Then another. Until it’s raining gently, destined to rain harder as the night progresses. Mush starts to stand. “We better go. I don’t need you gettin’ sick.”

Blink hops up and tugs on Mush’s sleeve. “Mushy,” he whines softly. “Just one more kiss?”

“You’re speakin’ my language.” Mush cups Blink’s cheeks and presses his lips against the small boy’s again. They don’t care about the rain that’s pouring on their heads, all they can think about is how many kisses they can fit in before they _really_ have to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE FINALLY DONE NOW BOYS  
> i just wanna thank not only god but also jesus


End file.
